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    ADHD/Anger outburst
    gigik70 posted:
    My 9 year old as ADHD & has been on concerta for a little over a year. He has always been difficult but his rage & outburst just seem to be getting worse. We recently started be-havioral therapy but it is too soon for that to help. I am worried about his Anger & uncontrolled rage. He is defiant & will just tell me No he's not going to do what I say. I send him to his room but he slams doors throws things trys to overturn his mattress. Today he raised a metal rod & flinched like he was going to hit me. I am at a loss. I just sat down & cried. He came out & said he was sorry but It's like he can't control himself. I know I need to stay strong but he is just wearing me down.
    stephangel responded:
    Hello there I have a son who is 10 and just started on Concerta. He was taking other med that weren't working. The past few weeks I have felt the way your feeling. I'm struggling on how I should react to him. I have had moments where I just want to leave. I'm a single mom raising 2 boys and just having one with ADHD, is more hard for me. I try doing things with him, but I just manage to stop cause of the way he acts. I'm also a teacher at times I feel like I have failed as a parent and a teacher, cause I can't help him or myself.
    momuv4girls responded:

    Was your son originally evaluated by a Child Psychiatrist?
    Who is he checking in with regularly to monitor his meds?

    ADHD can be tricky to medicate, depending on the child.

    You state your son has always been difficult, so I'm wondering if the meds ever really worked well..

    There may be more going on than just ADHD......Here is an article to think about and review. Please read the differences part carefully:

    It is so very difficult having a child who is out of control, yet does not have the tools to stop himself. Medication is one piece of the fix, yet I have found therapy doesn't really help until the child is at a good mental spot.

    Take care, and write back anytime!
    gigik70 replied to momuv4girls's response:
    Thx Kathleen,

    We are just now seeing a psychiatrist. A pediatric doctor evaluated him for the ADHD but because we are military we see have been switched around from time to time. He is evaluated every 90days to check on weight gains & any other concerns we have.
    We have only had two meetings with the psychiatrist so it's too soon for an evaluation from him. The concerta does help his hyperactivity & his ability to focus. I pulled him out of school & I homeschool him now. Most days are ok but then others not so good. He has the uncontrolled outburst of rage. It's like a light switch is turned off & on. ANYthing can set him off. He's always sorry so I know he understands what he's doing is not right....he tells me all the time he wishes he was not that way. I do feel like the meds work for the ADHD but I feel there is something going on besides that. My husband is pilot in the military & his schedule is crazy so it does leave me holding the bag. some days all I can do is cry...then pick myself & keep going! Thanks for taking the time to write! I will check out the article you sent.
    gigik70 replied to stephangel's response:
    I'm sorry you r having such a hard time...I feel your pain. I am not single but I am often a single parent due to my husband being miltiary. SO i can relate. I started homeschooling my 9 year old this year. I felt like he was getting a fair shake at his school. He is very smart but he just couldn't handle the long days. I know how it is to feel like you have failed. We only wants what is best for our children & when there is something wrong with them you just feel so out of control. My son is seeing a psychiatrist now to be sure he has been dx correctly. The more I read the more I'm afraid there may be more than ADHD he may be bipolar.

    Someone else on the blog sent me this link. This may not fit your child at all but for me it is quite scary.
    One thing that will help with an ADHD child is consitency. As much as possible he needs to know what to expect.....with schedule from eating to rules. Just take it one day at a time. It really helps to get advice from others & just to know that you are not alone in this fight!
    Stay strong!
    gigik70 replied to momuv4girls's response:
    FYI I read the article you sent. I know I'm not a doctor but it is pretty scary how much my son fits the Bi-polar vs the ADHD. He may have a mix of the two because the meds do help some things. I hope this psychiatrist can help & if he can't I will move on until I find someone who can.
    momuv4girls replied to gigik70's response:
    Hi again,

    That's the reason I sent the article along to you. Many, many bipolar children are misdiagnosed only ADHD, and receive the wrong meds, and wrong diagnosis.....then struggle horribly through their young years....its so sad.

    I really hope this new pdoc (short for psychiatrist), can sort out your son's symptoms and help him and find the correct diagnosis and medication.

    You sound like a wonderful advocate for him, keep up the great work!!

    ddwsam responded:
    understand were ur comeing from i'm a mom rasing two kids by myself my 8 yr old son is adhd and my 15 yr old is haven the same smptioms as u say ur 9 yr old is. they tell me my daughter is dealing with deprasion and anxiety i say she is bypolar if u look up info on bypolar u'll be amazed as what u'll find out. by
    ladysailor44 responded:
    I went thru the same thing with my son, and he was never on medication; seems just to be behavior issues that come with the territory...maybe because of all the frustration they experience. Anyway, one thing that helped significantly (helped, didn't solve...don't think there is a panacea) was old fashioned positive reinforcement. I simply ignored his unwanted behavior as much as possible, and actively looked for moments to catch him doing something--anything--even remotely like desired behavior; and gave him an immediate small reward. ADHD kids seem to especially like collecting and hoarding stuff; so for a while He-Man cards worked, and then as he got older, poker chips that he could trade in for added privileges. I'd try to find an average of one excuse a day to hand him a reward and a hug; some days he got two or three, some none. Found it very helpful in motivating him to improve his behavior. Found punishment worse than just increased his defiance, outbursts and anger. So I really had to pick and choose my battles. NO punishment for not doing homework for example, just intermittent rewards when he did (supposedly you shouldn't reward positive behavior EVERY time it occurs, they'll try harder and longer if you gradually make it more and more intermittent). Punishment only applied if he did something that might cause himself or others physical harm. Otherwise, just ignore--as much as you can anyway.
    Another thing that proved worse than useless--withdrawing privileges. There wasn't anything that he wasn't willing to give up, unfortunately. Pretty soon he had no privileges left at all, nothing to look forward to, and was totally resentful. Better to let him keep a baseline set of privileges regardless of behavior; and instead of taking ones away as punishment for bad behavior, grant additional ones for good behavior.
    Hardest thing I had getting him to do though, was to actually spend any of his rewards! ADHD kids apparently tend to hoard rather than spend tokens. So I had to set a limit on how many poker chips he could accumulate before having to spend some of them on something.
    bachgirls replied to gigik70's response:
    My 10-year old daughter has been suffering from the same kind of uncontrollable rage, like that switch has been turned, and is always so sorry after, and cries after that she doesn't know why she does it or why she can't stop, so when I read your post, I nearly cried to hear those words from someone I have access to! It is always helpful to hear from others who understand. A month ago, a counselor gave us some articles about artificial food additives, specifically Red Dye #40. I read those, did some more research, and then promptly removed all from our home. Some of the items completely surprised me, like Pilsbury Crescent Rolls. We refilled our pantry and fridge w/ all-natural foods only and the change has been significant. She has only had one outburst since. I was disappointed until I asked her what she had eaten on an outing with friends. Turns out both Nacho Cheeze Doritos and Watermelon slushies contain the dye. (She was mortified she forgot to check -- but forgetting is part of what we deal with all the time!) Do some reading -- especially other parents' description of their children with this issue and how eliminating the dye has make an impact. It may not be the case, but it is so worth a try!
    Jennmy2boys responded:
    My soon to be 8 year old has ADHD and has rage outbursts almost on a daily basis. I say almost because he's also on 3 diff medications which have tremendously helped his behavior. He's turned 180 degrees since last year. He's on Focalin XR, Intuniv and generic Ritalin...and days are still difficult. He is way less violent than a year ago but can still go into a rage like a switch was turned on. We've been battling this since he was 3 and now I am a single parent dealing with this alone and trying to raise a now 4 year old to not mimic his older brothers behaviors! He's in therapy weekly. I'm taking ADHD classes thru our community and a class called The Spirited Child workshop. Now, I'm been researching this new clinic that opened in my area 8 months ago. It's called Brain Balance Center and they claim to be able to help ADHD kids improve behaviors. It's very interesting but also expensive but I am afraid for my son's future. He lacks empathy, his social skills are poor primarily because of this violent outbursts towards other kids, and he's not motivated by any rewards. I can't keep up'ing his medication...there has got to be something else...right?
    momuv4girls responded:
    Maybe there is something else going on - something in addition to ADHD ?

    Did a child psychiatrist to his evaluation?

    Often times illnesses overlap and its difficult to sort out what is what, that is why its super important to have a professional who works with children (a specialist) treat and diagnose.

    This is an interesting link to read, explore and think about:

    Read the differences part carefully.

    If the current treatment is helping or working, then you need to explore a new approach, because living this way is torture for everyone.

    There is great cause for hope, so keep searching for answers and take care of yourself !

    KimberlyMM responded:
    My son is on concerta, and has been for years now. Before concerta we had tried several other medications including antidepressants. I am in a similar situation, but different. My son is now 17.5 years old. And, if you think it is hard dealing with a 7 year old, 17 is worse. He is to the point where is is very violent. He is extremely argumentative. I can no longer even have a normal conversation with him. It hurts me every day. He is very abusive to me mentally. And, God forbid I tell him no! He has been violent many times, going back to when he was very young. He has always broken things. I know by now nothing is sacred from being broken. If he knows I like it, the object becomes more of a target. We were told when he was little to restrain him. At that point our main objective was to keep him from hurting anyone or himself. I also had hoped that restraining him would teach him that he he could not act that way. Sometimes I blame myself. I feel as if I am a failure as a mother. Lately my husband and I have had to call 911, due to the violence. It has been horrible! I am so afraid that something horrible is going to happen, when this is going on! This last time, he kicked him dad in the head really hard, and punched him repeatedly leaving multiple bruises. His dad only tried restraining him. He has went overnight to juvenile hall twice.Both times they have dismissed the charges. I am glad that he did not get charges. Really, who wants their child to have that label, or that kind of life. But, I am living in fear. I never know what will set him off next. I am trying to get him help through therapist, psychiatrists, and blood work to determine if this may also be something chemical as well. I am not really comfortable talking with anyone about this. I am depressed, discouraged, and stressed to say the least. I would do anything to help my son. I love him so much, and only want a good life for him. I am looking for advice as well. He does have moments of being what i consider "normal". He can be a very good person. He at times has a heart of gold. He will at times go out of his way to do nice things for others. All of this confuses me. If you figure anything out, please let me know.

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