ADD / ADHD Community

I believe that the vast majority of claims of ADD and ADHD are fake. I know personally in my peer group, claiming to have ADD or ADHD is more of a fad. They use it as casually to explain a mistake or misunderstanding as they would say They had a "Blonde moment" or calling themselves a klutz. I also know of many parents who immediately put their children on medicine because their 3 year old went back to the bad behavior after a very mild rebuke and no follow through. (Just an example)

Having said that I do believe there is a foundation for these issues and there are true cases that do not receive the special attention and care they deserve because of the over-indulgence of the lazy, undisciplined masses.

Hi JLeighV and welcome to the community.

You brought up a very good point. I have heard people say: "I am having an ADD moment." That might be something we should think about.

I wonder if the young adult members with ADD/ADHD also have heard the same thing?

I, too, am often skeptical of ADD/ADHD diagnosis as well as over-treatments. I think that many people are too quick to give their child a pill to make it better. That being said, I have fairly severe ADD, both childhood and adult. My mom was wonderful and homeschooled me and helped me through ALOT of the ADD issues (i suspect that she too has ADD). I have never been medicated, though i know the option is there is necessary. For me, it is not, for some people it is. Again, I credit my mom and how she raised me to use my ADD traits to my benefit, and her patients with me...lol. I now work with kids who have Asberger's, ADHD, and Autism, sometimes these things combine.

Next, My 7-year-old step-son has been Diagnosed with ADHD. I am in general, leery about medicating children because they are hyper. However, my young one, despite having a para and many different reward/consequence systems tried in cooperation with us, his mom and the school, seems to be getting worse. We are now at the point of considering meds.

My point is, though i think is is over-diagnosed, over-medicated and sometimes the result of ineffective parenting, ADD/ADHD is very real and should not be made light of. It can be very frustrating as a parent to have someone say "well, just beat his butt and make him sit still" Or "you have to be consistant." "Take his toys away" "don't let him play video game, or watch tv" etc... As a parent who is educated and trying every trick and tactic i know of and the others know of, Having others who don't have this challenge talk down to me or tell me his problems are because of my bad parenting, can bring me almost to tears.

Hi Amie,

Welcome to the community. Many parents aren't sure about medication.

Do you think if parents are willing to use medication as a last resort it helps them understand ADD/ADHD a little more?

Keep your head up! Although I have no children let alone any with ADD/ADHD I have that stinkin' thing myself. It is very annoying. "taking away toys" because a child has extra energy, I don't think is a good idea. Getting children outside and playing tag hide and seek basket ball etc.... wearing them out is going to help tremendously. You probably already do this, but for the nay sayers of those who say this is an excuse. I don't use meds for this either, I am studying Wing Chun Kung Fu. it is exersize yet any martial arts is an exersize in focus discipline self respect respecting others and wearing out that do-gone extra energy that just seems to keep comming back no matter what we do.
I too believe meds have their place but I also say "the mutli-trillion dollar corrupt pharmacutical system" for a reason. many things can be fixed, repaired or at least slowed down with proper nutrition, a high rated muti vitamin/mineral youngevity.com has alot of nutritional suppliments to offer.
I salute you for working with kids that have medical issues.

Hi Celticgypsy and welcome to the community!

Thank you so much for sharing your ideas. It helps to find new ways of keeping our children active.

Would you share more about Wing Chung Fu?

Thanks,

Lainey

I have this same issue as far as being talked down to about the way I discipline my children. I have three boys ranging in ages 12, 7, and 4. I waited and waited before even considering putting any of my children on meds. I don't believe in medicating children for things that are unnecessary. But I left the behavior and the acting out in public and the calls from the school principles go because I didn't want my children on medication and I didn't want my children labeled by their peers. But when I seen how it affected their learning abilities and their focus on their school work while in school, I reconsidered the option of the meds. My 12 and 7 year old boys are both on medicine. Believe you me, they are definitely not over-medicated. I do notice some parents who have their children so zoned out, it's scary. I do not want my children to be like that. What does that benefit...nothing. I do believe that there are children who are medicated and missed diagnosed because of family issues or problems in the home where the parents or guardians just want any easy way out. In turn that makes alot of other parents get looked down upon. I too, am on meds for loss of concentration and severe depression. It is not easy dealing with those people who talk down on you and it is even worse when it is your own family members. My mother is always telling me that she wants to see how my boys would do if they had to spend a week with her. She also says to me that she would make them listen. I replied that when summer hits she is more than welcome to try it. I'll be standing by the phone waiting for the call to come pick them up. Alot of what people say to me about the medications and my children's behavior is heart wrenching and it does bring me to tears, but I don't let my children see me cry. That will only bring them down. I only want to bring them up and keep them motivated to continue on. Thanks for reading this to all who have...

I think you need more education about ADHD.

It is not even "sometimes" the result of "ineffective parenting."

I'm not a parent, I am an adult with ADHD, apparently I "topped the scale" or whatever, just I have it pretty bad. I have a very poor self esteem due to my "issues" and the way I was raised I was never medicated I was one of the kids told to straighten up or I'll straighten you up. I grew up feeling like a failure and I still feel that way even though I have a house dogs car and the perfect job for someone with ADHD that I'm late for every day and wonder why I am still employed there and yet I go in circles cause I cant keep focused, even at work. I'm still hyper, impulsive and am currently on meds and have been but they only seem to work for like 2-3years if that and we are back to drawing board, which is the stage I am at again. I have quite a few friends that keep telling me, you don't need to take medication you just need to pray or take natural stuff or whatever. I'm sure I should do that, I do pray in fact, and my prayers really have changed to help me instead of let me die because I can't stand myself and the way I am. For those who have never experienced ADHD personally be thankful, I don't have a clue what it is like to have a kid you have to help with it but it's gotta be difficult, and it really angers me for people to say the things they do when they've never experienced it, if they just spent 1 hour inside my head they'd probably be saying go take some more meds or something. So I know how difficult it is to try defending yourself and why you act the way you do but in return it kills my esteem even more thinking how bad I am, and I will never be "normal" like them and try continuing living my difficult life, so parents my thoughts are just please try supporting your kids somehow no matter what others tell you.

Thank you for your reply. I am saddened by your difficulties. It is for just these reasons that I obtained treatment for my son when he was very young.

I did not want him to stuggle academically and socially due to ADHD. I did not want him to have low self esteem.

One cannot pray away ADHD. There are no effective "natural" remedies.

It is sad that some still buy into myths.

I get frustrated with the public perception that ADHD is a childhood only problem. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until the age of 37.

I'm not a college student. There's no recreational benefit to monthly therapy and stimulant meds that make my teeth hurt or maybe keep me up all night. I'm not trying to impress any of my peers with my "ADHD Moments".

I'm a grown man with my own house, my own car and a job. I have a wife, a kid and bills to pay.

How much fun do you think it is to pay late fees again and again? You'd love that look in your kids eye when you show up for the last 5 minutes of the school play or send them off without lunch because you left it on top of the car. Constantly hearing your spouse go on and on about how we could loose the house because you didn't get a check out on time even though it's all filled out, in the envelope with postage.... under the milk in the fridge. Lets not forget those lovely IRS letters where they kindly explain you miscalculated on your tax return and now owe another $2000 by June 15.

If ADHD isn't real, then faking it is so much fun I could puke.

I'm not lazy. I'm not stupid. I'm most certainly not faking anything. No one would voluntarily live like they have untreated ADHD on purpose. It's too exhausting. Too difficult to keep that inconsistency so consistent. It's not fun. It's not a joke. It's a real problem.

Maybe ADHD isn't the right name for it. In my experience its more of an overload than a deficit. I just have a hard time controlling what I focus on. I see stuff others miss.

I couldn't stand to be one of the boring people enslaved to their blackberry and stressing over little details that only matter for a few minutes. So what if you're a minute late to work are you going to remember it in a year? Would it be worth a scolding from the boss to see a sunrise that takes your breath away and inspires you to paint on the weekends. Is it worth more to be "productive" or to really ENJOY playing outside with your 7 year old because you're so in the moment bills, bosses and traffic don't exist for you?

That's the kind of freedom I give up when I take those pills. Those meds are a box with eye slits that I put on when I need to fit in with the rest of the worker bees.

I have a GED. I'm a the best computer tech I've ever met and I'm not bragging. I enjoy my work with a passion most people don't believe is any more real than ADHD. My peers have college degrees in computer science.

ADHD is real. But manageable if you're willing to accept it for what it is and treat it like a part of your life not a disease. It's how we're born.

Good luck.

Chris

You don't have to medicate your kid. Its just a helpful tool. Life skills is critical.

My advise is stop fighting who your kid is. Don't expect him to do things the way other people do.

I have ADHD. It take meds. I receive therapy. I also REFUSE to believe I'm malfunctioning. I do what I do to get along with other people who aren't very accepting.

Work with him. Let him play. Have him do his work for 15 or 20 minutes as his attention span will allow and give him a break. Figure out whats important and focus on that. You can't rely on his memory. So figure out some other way to remind him what needs to be done and when. Make it something cool and he'll embrace it and want to do it.

Constant scolding and punishment is just wrong. It won't help.

Good luck.

Hi Christophor and welcome to WebMD,

Thank you for your eloquent message, sharing what having this is like for you and how it impacts your life. I'm sure it will help others understand and/or realize they're not alone.

Christopher has been here for a long time. He was gone for a short time and I am very happy that he is back. He has lots of pertinent information to share.