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my daughter is the reflection of myself
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artistjcbebe321 posted:
Hello readers!

I am 30, going to be 31 in a few months. I am also deaf, I am sure it doesn't have to do with deafness, but if you read the book of my life, you'd say it's a crazy book!

What brings my daughter to get my attention, she is going to be 10 in a few months, and I'm starting to notice her behavior somewhat oddly even though it makes her unique. She has quick tempers even I never have seen it yet because I find broken things hidden under the bed, or behind the table, or stuffed in the drawers. She does multiplicity tasks such as listening to radio, talking to friends online, playing games even watching TV. Every time I tell her to clean the mess, do homework, or take a shower. It takes FOREVER for her to do it. Sometimes, she doesn't care if I punish her, and she goes on reading books for hours, or moves around her room to in completely different places. When she gets upsets from her friends or school, it seems really hard for her to express it. She is great at writing, and reading, but she doesn't like or maybe hates to do math works, and she keeps making mistakes over and over. There are a lot of things about her that I see myself when I was her age except that she is not deaf.

She is a wonderful girl, at big and sweet heart, and loves to make everyone laugh but what I don't understand is... she does not have many friends. I am encouraging her to keep in touch with friends from school rather than talking to "online" friends that she never meets from PICO, facebook. Does ADHD have to do with socializing less? So, with her behavior at home is really a wake up call for me because these signs are related to ADHD, and it runs in the family which means... Do I have it too???

My boyfriend of almost two years, has been telling me if I was okay because I look sad sometimes even I don't feel it. Sometimes he sees that I am too focused in my own world than to see what happens out there in reality. For example, he tells me "See the commercial? It's really funny!" I am not responding to him, and he goes "Honey..??" I say "Yeah, it's funny." He feels offended and says "What happened on the commercial?" I feel so guilty and try to make up as best as I can but he is right. I am not even paying attention even I am watching it. It often happens like that.

Looking back to my life with my parents, and today I have no connection with them anymore. We argue all those years, and we still do. I always feel that mom is not even listening to me, and I am always the wall. My dad gives up on me regarding to my stubbornness, and my unpredictable moods. I am not the daddy's girl anymore which saddens me even more. They hate my quick tempers, and they just can't stand me anymore. But what's strange that I don't get quick tempers with friends or even my boyfriend. I don't have any problems with friends except a few of them who presses my buttons repeatedly. I even ask mom to see if she can seek the counselor and get examined that she might has ADHD, or any other disorders? I mean, which parent do I get it from? Mom refuses to take my advice and it has nothing to do with her mental ill. She is not helping, so is dad.

What calms me down the most is reading books, drawing ( I am an artist ), writing poems or journal (obviously, I am still writing here am I ?? lol), and love to go out to get some fresh air and be in fast pace places. I hate quiet places, it just feels alien to me, and it is so annoying!


I'd like some feedback, and if you have some similar experiences with mine.

Thanks!

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