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My son may have ADHD but he is very young...
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MandyT28 posted:
Hi everyone,

I have a wonderful 3 1/2 year old son that I enrolled in preschool this year and to my surprise the second day he started the school did what the call and initial developmental evaluation in which he did very poorly and refused to participate in certain things they asked of him. So the sent home the report a month later after it was done in his backpack without speaking to me first and the letter with it said he needs further testing in which I have to contact the school district to organize. I really truly feel the way the did the evaluation was wrong and unfair and I voiced it yet they still want it done. I have noticed since he was about 2 or so that he is a bit hyper and has inattention isssues. But when I spoke to his pediatrician about the evaluation he felt it was unfair and inappropriate given his age, how they conducted it and the fact it was his first time being away from me bc I've always been at home with him. My biggest concerns is misdiagnosis I know it happens more often than it is talked about and given his young age I refuse to medicate him at this age. His teacher complained about the hyperness and inattention in the first parent/teacher but said that he does better than a lot of her older students (his classroom is 19 students ages 3-5) she also told me he is the youngest one is the class and he goes 3 days a week but the rest of the kids go 5 days. I'm just a little lost not sure what to do. Any opinions would be great. Thanks.
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Gina Pera responded:
Hi Mandy,

I see how you must be confused and unsettled by this.

It seems there are quite a few issues going on, and they need teasing out. I'm not sure how much we can help from this distance, but here are some thoughts:

1. Were you entirely surprised that your child didn't transition well into preschool? That is, had you any other clues that this might be difficult for him -- perhaps by watching his behavior in other informal play dates or other gatherings with young children?

If he truly has challenges in this area that aren't typical of children his age, that's something to pay attention to.

If your child has always been at home with you, with little other outside interaction, this might be an abrupt change for him.

2. ADHD is highly genetic. Is it possible that you also have ADHD? If so, this might mean that you have missed clues that he is having problems. It might also mean that you forgot the guidelines established by the preschool, thus your surprise in finding the reporter a month later in the backpack. (Of course it's also entirely possible that this preschool is slipshod! I'm just pointing out some possibilities to think about.)

3. Sadly, not all pediatricians understand the nature of ADHD and tend to dismiss its early signs. Recognizing ADHD early doesn't necessarily mean medication but it does mean understanding how best to help that child at an age-appropriate level.

For example, does your child get enough sleep, does he get good protein in the morning, does he get time outside and exercise, and are his needs understood and responded to?
 
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MandyT28 replied to Gina Pera's response:
I wasn't all that surprised I did notice the hyperness, inattention and some impulsivenes. However when school started it all seemed to get better at first. But I have been noticing his behavior backslide it might have been from the week winter break not having school, but I see a negativity in him I have never seen before lately. At home he has been saying things like "you're stupid" or "you are bad". He's always been great with other children I babysat another child his age from 18 mos till he was almost 3. But at I noticed at Christmas with a relatives little boy that was around his age maybe a year younger he didn't play as well he didn't to share or interact kindly. Maybe it was just the holiday but I'm suspicious. My brother has ADHD. His pediatrician actually does recognize some ADHD issues with him but feels its too early. My biggest thing is the school wants the district to test him so they can get funding to give him special services like physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy that they have at the school. But his doctor doesn't see any reason except for maybe speech but even that he feels isn't entirely necesary for his age nor even if he does have ADHD would those things help at this point. I'm opposed to having him tested but I'm not sure I want to have it done by the local school district. There is a doctor around here that treats ADHD and is well recommended uses both medication and non-medication therapy but he doesn't like to see children till they are 4. So I'm kind of waiting but his teacher is still pushing a little. I will be having a meeting with her soon. She approached me last week when I picked him up and said she wanted to meet but had to get back to me because this week is a short week with MLK day so the week after I guess. Which I'm a little put off that she approached me for a meeting with her calender but couldn't commit to a day yet. It's just very frustrating. I accepted whatever outcome I just am a little suspect. Thanks for the advice and recommendations. The sleep is usually pretty good and he sometimes has issues with finishing breakfast in the morning b/c he is excited for school he loves it. However another thing that has happened that concerns me is he was potty trained and now he refuses to go at home too this happened about a month or so into the school year. I dont know what to think.