Okay, so, I have a nagging mental condition. I have been diagnosed bipolar however, I feel that is a drop in the bucket. I have a severe depressive disorder, where I procrastinate everything, am addicted to all kinds of bad habits, constantly fatigued, lazy and unmotivated when I have every reason to be motivated, have problems with addiction, obsessive, wont get off the couch sometimes even to take care of bathroom responsibilities, cast away acts of responsibilties to the wind, but have every desire to change all of the above, and no motivation to put plan to foot. My family thinks I may have thyroid disorder, ADHD, or some other disease. My blood tests show inconclusive on thyroid disorder, I dont have a problem paying attention. I pay too much attention in most cases. I recently found and lost the love of my life in a psychology professor, and upon telling her about having a cocaine addiction because it brought me clarity of thought, she also thought I might have ADHD. I have talked to so many doctors, and so many people about trying to resolve the issues, I find myself more lost and out of control. I have been prescribed meds down the list, Prozac, Celexa, Welbutrin, Abilify, Seroquil, etc.. Nothing seems to help. I need a firecracker under my butt, and not sure how to find it. Is it so obvious that it is ADHD or am I just seeking that it be something to put an answer to it? I have come to the point where I would volunteer at a university to be a test subject. I guess in some areas, I noticed that I do have problems somewhat with attention.. When I was a child, I loathed doing homework. I was always a GREAT test taker. Did the work in the class.. but when I went home, didnt do anything but play. Reading, I would have to typically re-read everything. I am a speed reader, but couldnt retain the knowledge of everything I read. And especially lately, I am bored with many things I shouldnt be bored with. I have been labeled as over analytical. I put too much focus on things, and not enough on others. I have a hard time finishing tasks I start. I understand music and musical progression better than most, but yet cant train myself to understand every facet of chord theory and how to play it in sync with a mathematical certainty because I feel that music has to have more depth than just practice put to an organized conclusiveness. I play cards, and can understand the math of probability better than most, if not all, of the people I play with or against, but cant achieve all of the time because of over analysis and stubborness. I can continue on and on, I can type really fast, have racing thoughts more often than not. Have a hard time handwriting things out because I think too fast and dont write fast enough to capture my thoughts
I'm sorry to hear that our medical system has apparently failed to provide you with a useful diagnosis and treatment. Sadly, you are not alone.
Of course, we cannot diagnose here but I read many "red flags" for ADHD in what you've written.
Moreover, if you have been given various SSRI medications (Prozac, Celexa, etc.), it's important to know that, in some cases, they can intensify ADHD symptoms around lack of motivation, initiation, "caring", etc.
Wellbutrin can help some people with ADHD symptoms, to a certain degree. But it's not considered a first-line medication for ADHD.
I suggest that you read up on ADHD and see if it resonates for you.
they had a particular form of ADHD listed on here, one that relates to thinking too much and paying too much attention. I am definitely doing my homework on it. What would be a good stimulant that would cause little harm in my life, that would speed my body up to what my mind wants it to and start living productively? I hear alot of people talk about how Ritalin intensifies grogginess and in alot of cases, zombifies people. That is the exact opposite of what I need. I need my motivation up.. I served in the military, and when I served had energy to do the required, but yet had no drive for myself unless the structured organization required it. My brother also suggested it might be a testosterone level problem, however, I feel ok in that department for the most part. I have a bunny rabbit sex drive. I definitely feel better about myself for even looking this all up and taking notification in the problems I have now. so.. where it goes from here, hopefully will be in the right path.
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