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Life destroyed by ADHD and a nasty ex wife who has alienated my children against me
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lonelyadhdinphiladelphia posted:
My name is Ed and I live in Philadelphia. I used to be a very successsful high school teacher. In 2000, I was diagnosed ADHD but by that time my marriage was beyond repair and ended in divorce in 2002. I also suffer from severe anxiety and Major Depression. I am on disability, but the loss of income from teaching was dramatic and after I pay for my mental health care and prescriptions I can barely survive. I resigned from teaching in 2007 ending an 18 year career. I had just settled a legal battle with my ex wife where she got away with not disclosing stock options she was given by her bank during our marriage. They turned out to be worth $520,000. T/O the court battle my family gave me little emotional support and when it ended after going as far as the appellate court who overturned a ludicrious decision by the Superior Court. i had to settle before a trial could be held because I ran out of money and my paycheck whas leveraged with home equity and pension loans. The entire settlement i recieved was just enough to pay my attorney. I knew my financial house was going to collapse - it was just a matter of time.

I have two children, son 19 and a daugter 15. I was "Mr. Mom" in addition to a demanding career as a high school teacher and the data base manager for the high school. I love my children more than anything in this world.

While I was parenting my ex wife was climbing the career ladder and is currenlty the most sought after banker in the city of Philadelphia and worth millions. She is a VP for the largest Philadelphia based bank.

I am sure my ADD cause some of the problems in our marriage, but when she was award the options the marriage was over, I just didn't know it. My ex wife has a personality very few people have. She is very likeable, outgoing and maybe the smartest person I know. Her flaw is she doesn't have any ethics and money means more to her than anything in the world.

After the settlement of the stock options which destroyed me financially my anger(ADHD), depression and anxiety took over my life.
I couldn't get out of bed in the morning i was so depressed. My financial situation caused tremendous amounts of anxiety. My 90% parenting role began to slowly diminish and basically ended in Feb 2009 when my financial house completely collapsed. I lost my condo to foreclosure, lost my Jeep Liberty and every material possesion I owned.

i attempted suicide in Feb 2009 when I had to give away my daughters dogs - the most important part of her life. I survived, but barely.

My ex wife took complete advantage of my collapse and eliminated me from my children's lives. That made everything continually get worse. The feeling of loss was tremendous.

After 3 long years my Doctors finally have the right combination of drugs along with weekly therapy to control my depression, most of my ADHD and most of my anxiety.

My entire family has rejected me, along with my children and i am alone. All my social groups were destroyed by my collapse and I have virtually no support left.

I am hoping there are others in Philadelphia who suffer from ADHD, which I battle with every day, even medicated. I have excelllent mental health care, but the external life factors are making it very difficult for the medicine to completely control the symptons of each of my illnesses.

I hope to hear from some others who also suffer from Adhd who have suffered great loss as a result.

Ed Cyr
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Sasha1146 responded:
Hello Ed,
I am sorry to hear how ADHD has affected your life in this way.
I am not in USA, I am in England, but would like to share my story with you.
I am the mother of 2 children, a daughter aged 26 and son 25.
My daughter was diagnosed on her 5th birthday as having ADHD and medicated accordingly. Her sleeping pattern was almost non existent and there were so many safety factors my husband and I dreaded on a daily basis. Our daughter had no fear factor to anything in life which stressed us out immensely.
We followed the consultant's advice and she was admitted to hospital for 8 weeks to try out some dietary trial but they didn't see any improvement, albeit we felt that she appeared to be more rational.
That consultant moved to London and we moved out of the area and was recommended to another of his colleagues near to where we then lived. The new consultant didn't agree with the ADHD diagnosis and felt it was more likely to be Aspergers Syndrome but this was never followed up, to my horror!!!
Here medication was stopped at puberty to allow her body to develop and to be fair, we didn't notice any changes when the medication was withdrawn.
Having moved again at age 21, my daughter went to see a new consultant and he prescribed her new medication which once again, the family and close friends didn't see any improvement but she continued as advised until she fell pregnant last year.
She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the summer but due to her chaotic behaviour the Midwife reported her lifestyle to Social Services and they placed my Grandson in Local Authority Care immediately after he was born.
We have had contact with him for 6 months, supervised at a contact centre and the courts instructed a General Psychiatrist to conduct a report for them (without the full background medical history of my daughter) who diagnosed Emotional Personality Disorder. Treatment would be weekly CBT for a period of 12-24 months and as this would not be completed within the timeframe laid down by our wonderful government of 6 months it was agreed by the local courts that he was to be adopted due to his mothers condition.
Sadly, in 2 days time it will be the last time we see him until such time either he comes looking for us, or once he reaches 18 we can go looking for him.
And, even sadder, my daughter is unable to secure her treatment because we live in a post-code lottery where this treatment is unavailable unless we pay private for it. This in my opinion, forces my daughter to be childless for the rest of her life..........
I have researched Aspergers Syndrome and can identify with its symptoms but no one is prepared to listen.
It is taking all my strength to ensure my daughter does not do anything dangerous and I am currently fighting our government to secure her treatment following the mis-diagnosis and treatment as a child.
On top of which, I also fight on a daily basis my husband who for whatever reason, does not recognise the condition(s).

I truly hope the powers of be get to grips with this condition so that treatment is provided for adults, and, that children are diagnosed correctly in the first place to alleviate the additional stress it causes to their parents in the process.

Stay strong and I hope you find a lady in your life who will appreciate your attributes and not take advantage of the hurdles which this condition challenges us with every day.

God bless
 
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mattthecat replied to Sasha1146's response:
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