Skip to content
How do I deal with my ADHD,ODD 7year old son?
avatar
Grubbymama posted:
I have two boys with ADHD and ODD. The older one is doing really well, overall. He is 8. But my 7 year old son is far more defiant. He is having a hard time with the fact that we are moving in a few weeks. I think that because of this big change coming up, he has been acting out a lot more, being really aggressive, super loud, controlling, very defiant, oppositional, etc. The things that we have been doing that seemed to be working as far as discipline and management, aren't working. I am going out of my mind! Any ideas?
Reply
 
avatar
momuv4girls responded:
You're probably right, that the pending changes are effecting his behaviors.....

You don't mention whether or not your 7-year old is on any medication? Maybe an adjustment is in order?

Do you have any local resources? Someone that can take your son out while you work on moving?

How is school going for him?

-Kathleen
 
avatar
Grubbymama replied to momuv4girls's response:
Thanks for the reply Kathleen. He is on meds and he just had an adjustment. And it has helped. I asked a friend to take them yesterday and went and had mommy time with a friend. That helped a lot. He got to go have fun with friends and I got to get away. My husband has been at the new city for the last month and a half so it has just been me. It gets very overwhelming sometimes.

It seems that the times that he has the most trouble, is on the weekends, when he is out of schedule, and I ask him to do chores, like I do everyday, but for some reason he has it in his head that on saturday he doesn't have to do anything because it is a day off school, so he doesn't have to do anything else either. Or anytime he doesn't get what he wants. I'm not a push over so he doesn't like that.

School wise- he is struggling this year. He needs a lot of individual attention, and his teacher says that he is having a hard time focusing, so we increased his dose, and it has helped him calm down quite a bit, but he is still having trouble with class work. He gets overwhelmed very easily by too much going on on a page. He needs individual help, and he can't get that in school, so when we move we will be switching to home school.

I guess my biggest question is how do I help him cope with the feelings that he has about the move and changes coming up when he doesn't know how to express his deep feelings. We talk about it, and he says that he is anxious and stressed about it, but how do I help him?
 
avatar
momuv4girls replied to Grubbymama's response:
You're welcome : )

So, I have a few ideas ......... As far the move goes, I would try to not talk about it very much in front of him. When he does here you talk about it, just make it matter of fact, and exciting.
Like "It will be so great to be with Daddy again in our new town. We can go on adventures and learn about our new place" - things like that.
I would also buy a few books that can help ease the transition and help with worry: Here are a few ideas:

http://www.amazon.com/New-House-Jill-Wenzel/dp/097606460X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1249967096&sr=8-1&tag=betthiahe-20

http://www.amazon.com/Henry-Mudge-Annies-Good-Move/dp/0689832842/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1249966858&sr=8-1&tag=betthiahe-20

http://www.amazon.com/Bunny-Bungalow-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0152163166/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1249966462&sr=8-1&tag=betthiahe-20

Homeschool.......well, I tried it with very little success with my very ODD daughter and found it created more battles than it solved.
Also, my daughter struggles socially and I found removing her from school alienated her even more, and frankly I couldn't hack the school work battle with her.

It may work for you guys, but it may not (you don't want yourself going completely bonkers!!).....

Your son should qualify for an IEP and specialized services through the school district because of his diagnosis.
Now, depending on where your moving, services can vary, but he would be entitled to some.
IE: Extra time taking tests, 1 on 1 additional help, preferential seating etc......

Here is a helpful link to look at regarding school:

http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_teaching_strategies.htm

I hope some of this helps! I know how hard it can be to parent a child who is a bit more challenging!!

If you like, I am pretty good with resources - if you pass along your new city and /or zip code, I can research some local resources / support for you?

Take care!!
-Kathleen
 
avatar
Grubbymama replied to momuv4girls's response:
Thank you for the resources, I will look into them. I agree with the ideas you have given, those are the things that I have been doing with him. But there is another factor that I didn't take into consideration. He hasn't been feeling very good for athe last month. turns out he has grown an inch in that time. He also has asthma, and it has been giving him problems. So we have gotten that under control, so hopefully he will get a bit better. I think it wil also help when we have moved that we will have a lot less stuff. I think that having such chaos and disorder in the house while getting ready to move is causing some stress for him. At school he is on a 504, it is similar to an IEP but it is only accomodations, and in wyoming the schools don't do 1 on1's. That is part of the problem. I have been doing my best to advocate for him in school and his particular school has done their best, but they are constrained by state and federal regs. And there are a lot of things changing in the school world that I just don't like. But I would love to see what you find for Casper. the zip code is 82604 I think, anyway it is Casper wyoming. I appreciate your help. I am in school full time and tryingto be a good and present mom, get ready to move, teach piano lessons, and not go completely crazy in the process. I appreciate your willlingness to help me out. Thanks!!
 
avatar
momuv4girls replied to Grubbymama's response:
Well, you certainly have a lot going on right now!!

Hummm, Wyoming doesn't seem to have a lot in the way of resources.......but here is what I found:

This parenting class may be really helpful - I took one a few years back and it was very insightful.

http://groups.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=129604&sid=1383586654.4994_14091&county=Natrona&state=WY&spec=6&gid=44780

This link is a general one for your state, but has a lot of info. on it:

http://www.wbihelp.com/resources.php

Here is another link for the State, with many resources:

http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/wy.htm

Sometimes in doing research, one door opens the next and so on.....so hopefully you can find support, and guidance when you move.

Take care, and all the best to you and your family!!
-Kathleen
 
avatar
Grubbymama replied to momuv4girls's response:
Thank you so much.
 
avatar
momsunite55 responded:
HELLO GRUBBYMAMA, FIRST AND FOREMOST YOUR AN AWESOME MOM, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB BEING AWARE IF YOUR SON'S PERSONALITY TRAITS. I FOUND A SITE WWW.CASPERAUTISMSOCIETY.COM. THEY HAVE A CONFERENCE OM NOV 14 AND AT WYOMING MEDICAL CENTER A CHILD PSY DR BROWN. OVERALL YOU HAVE SOME GREAT IDEAS TO TRY, HOPEFULLY YOU CAN LOCATE THE CHADD/AUTISM CHAPTER IN YOUR AREA. ONE MOVE IDEA RITE CARE,SPEECH, LANGUAGE, LITERACY, HELPING CHILDREN TO COMMUNICATE, THEY DO SEMINARS. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR MOVE AND BLESSINGS TO YOUR FAMILY. I ALWAYS TRIED TO TELL MY SON EVERYDAY IS A NEW DAY AND THAT YESTERDAY WAS OVER. IT SOUNDS SILLY BUT TREAT YOUR BOYS LIKE TODDLERS OR AT LEAST REMEMBER THEY THINK IN "NANO SECONDS" WHAT WE SAID SECONDS AGO IS FORGOTTEN QUICKLY, BUT OUR LOVE IS ALWAYS PRESENT!! YOU KNOW YOUR BOYS BETTER THAN ANYONE AND YOU WANT ONLY THE BEST FOR THEM, THE MORE YOU LEARN WHAT THEY NEED THE BETTER ADVOCATE YOU WILL BE!! TAKE CARE, momsunite1990
 
avatar
aiekan1021 replied to Grubbymama's response:
hi, my name is keia, from Michigan an yes im dealing with same issue with my 10 year old, my son was on foclin which help somewhat when he was younger. but as we increase the dose, there was alot of side effects and then it just had no affect on helping,we try the patches which he is on now. But there is no difference really and it can burn and itch his skin. he dont want to take the pills anymore and as he gets older it gets a little harder.school is a big struggle, and if they do test your child more than likely you want get the help quickly and he will pass their tests, they are very smart children just hard to stay focus, and stay on task.

There are a few schools that have the attention to give,i actually thought i was in luck,but broke down in tears when she said 2,150 a month. i suggest if they do stay in regular school,because they do need to learn rules and others,that tutoring be given it does help. I want to homeschool, but i work nights and he all ready give me a hard time when doing homework. Find other mothers that homeschool,there some tutors that will do it but it cost as well.My son is overwhelm as well we moved to another state the schools were diffrent and behind when we came back home the school was way advance an really act like he was the first student they had that couldnt focus and do right. i had a teacher whisper to me stay on them for help and look at me in a sad deameanor. its a shame and hurtful but yet stressful to me . i dont feel like this is recognize as something serious as you see about autism and other things. then what happens are kids get label an parents trying to keep their cool when these kids are acting out, with no self control.

I dont know if there is organizations out here, but Im ready to try and make this look at more.more research done ,there are alot of famous people that have deal with this as children and now as adults, i would like some one to stand and endorse this issue. this is mlore thand being hyper,and not focus in school, it is affecting our children into being successful adults.
 
avatar
clairenz responded:
Hi. I realise that this conversation began a few weeks ago, so you may have moved already. If not here are some things I've did with my 10 yr old with ADHD who exhibited/s aggressive behaviour as your son does.

When we moved I gained as much information about the place we were moving to - photos of the house, particularly the room she would be going into. So that she could see and be prepared for what we were moving to. We also discussed what we could do with the room immediately when we arrived, for eg, posters she could put up. We had a box which traveled with us containing things she could set up in her room immediately - sheets, posters, toys etc. Make sure you have the equipment ready to put this stuff up. We used the command sticky tabs which come off without destroying the wall.

You may also want to find out information about the community surroundings - school, playground, shopping centre nearby. Obviously all this takes time and I realise you're extremely busy already.

The other thing I did which has helped change my daughter's behaviour dramatically is to cook her breakfast every morning. She has an enormous breakfast usually consisting of eggs and I try and throw some salmon in there too. She will also have a smoothy consisting of banana, spinach, ground flaxseed as well as berries. The website that has really helped change establish new eating habits was www.ourfamilyeats.com.

The other thing that really helps when she becomes stressed, is for her to listen to a talking book with head phones on. She really enjoys it and it takes her out of her stressful life and allows her to escape for awhile. If this may work for your son, just make sure you set up definite times when he can't listen, getting ready for school, dinner time etc.

Good luck. You're doing a great job.


Featuring Experts

My foray into the field of ADHD began by chance. In 1999, I picked up a library book about the brain. And what I read changed my life and my husband&#...More

Helpful Tips

Teaching Your Child to Swallow a PillExpert
Many children (and adults) have difficulty swallowing pills. This often becomes critical as many long-acting medications can not be ... More
Was this Helpful?
8 of 8 found this helpful

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.