New to ADD, Wow!
dutchgirlie67 posted:
Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with ADD/inattentiveness about 6 months ago, at the age of 46. I thought I knew what ADD was, but I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I did not know a thing. In my research for today, I found this community. All I can say is WOW! Every thread I've read talks about me! Who would have thought that my excessive nail biting and mostly, my horrendous cuticle picking is part of the ADD life? Who would have thought my endless line of jobs and guys who "were the one" for a while, was because of my ADD? Who would have thought that the feeling of not working hard enough, not good enough, not living up to my potential, is part of the way my brain chooses to work? My finances, my impulsiveness, my interrupting others, my hyper focus, my lack of focus, my ADD has made its way into every single part of my life. Somebody said to not let it define me, but how can I not? I don't have ADD, I AM ADD! My meds (Ritalin, combined with Effexor and Klonopin) help a lot and I'm doing much better than I was 6 months ago, heck, than EVER! However, I'm starting to realize that this will be a struggle for the rest of my life! That's a pretty overwhelming thought and we all know how we deal with overwhelming thoughts! Patience is definitely not one of my virtues, I want the cure NOW! But there is no cure! There is a process ahead of me that will teach me on how to deal with myself and that will take a lot of work. My ADD mind is thinking to not deal with that learning process and to not do the work, just take the meds, that's already made me so much better than ever before. But I know that I have to go through that process and that I have to learn how to work around and with it, so that it won't destroy the rest of my life. I thought the diagnosis would relieve me, finally knowing what's wrong with me, but it turns out to feel more like a punishment. I am ADD, and that means I'm starting a whole new journey (I don't think I'll have fun on this journey) at the age of 46. What I've known about myself for 46 years, has now been changed and I have to completely start over! I'm very happy to know that I'm not the only one, that I do fit in somewhere, but where do I go from here?