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Pregnant and thinking about giving up
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klynshoe posted:
Hello,

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this so if not I'd appreciate any references.

I am 5 months pregnant, living in FL, and my husband and I are likely getting a divorce despite our efforts in counseling, small groups, etc.

I do not think being a single, working mother is for me but at the same time I refuse to give my child to my husband. So hence, I am thinking about going the route of adoption.

My first question is if I can pursue adoption for my child without my husband's consent? What if I don't list a father on the birth certificate - would that help my case?

My second question is if I'm allowed to leave the state. I'd like to move to Colorado but don't know if I'm allowed to. I'm thinking that if I move while I'm still pregnant its okay but if I wait until the baby is born then I'm worried I won't be able to go.
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fiannakyn responded:
I believe you are able to leave the state at any time, as long as it wont cause issues with the divorce precedings (but thats a personal choice) after the baby is born the only thing that might cause issues is if the father files for custody, then its up to the court if you can take the child out of state or not.

You should also look into the laws for both FL and CO about father's rights. I know in Missouri, the father has to be notified of the birth and if he wants to contest the adoption , he has to register a punitive father registry. You might talk to a lawyer specializing in adoption or someone from an adoption agency.

I think there is a federal law requireing a father's name listed on the birth certificate. I'm not 100% sure though.

If you go to the website www.adoption.com , it has a lot of very good information.
Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, currently in process of being licensed with DFS of Missouri to foster.
 
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Anon_73805 responded:
I'd like to point out that your child is not a toy to be played with. You don't get to say to your husband 'oh, well i don't like you anymore. and i don't want this baby, nor do i want you to have him/her'.

While I am all for adoption as an option in many cases, i don't agree with it in the situation you described. Unless there is some extenuating circumstance that would prevent your husband from being a good father, HE should be the one to decide whether or not he gets to parent HIS child...not you. I'm sure he already knows that you are pregnant, so how are you going to explain the disappearance of the baby once s/he is born??

You sound incredibly selfish, "I do not think being a single, working mother is for me"...maybe the baby would be better off with your husband.

I know I sound harsh here, but (as a woman), I think it's incredibly unnerving that women think the father has no say when it comes to their mutual baby.

If you don't want to raise the child, fine. But the father gets 'first dibs', even a court will tell you that.


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