Almost ready to try to concieve

ok is its to rediculous to say that i am sitting here crying on my computer typing this bc my son has been braking my heart all day bc he has just been wanting his dada. every time he leaves he throws a fit at the baby gate i put up between the front door and living room and then after a little bit he realizes his dad hasnt come back threw that door and goes looking for him in all the other rooms. i keep those door close so he goes down the hall bawling, banging on each door and calling for dada. this is the first day he has done that and it broke my heart so bad. my husband ended up working late today and the second he got home he asked if he could go out with the guys. and i told him i didnt care just help me get your son ready for bed and everything before you go plus dont get to drunk bc of reasons i will explain later. well he gave cody a bath and was starting to put his pjs on him, well he got a text message saying that his friend was here to pick him up and he put cody on the floor with just his bottoms on and no shirt and sayed he had to leave and started heading out, this with cody was bawling grabbing at his ankles and when he got over the baby gate he really started crying and i was livid then that he could not just stay just a few more mins to make sure his son wasnt going to throw a fit. if he would of stayed not more than 5 mins cody would of been half asleep and i wouldnt of had to watch him cry for dada again today . oh and the whole time he was home before going out i was having to beg him to get off his phone or ipod and play with cody or help me out with him so that made me mad too. but ya when he got home which im glad it was a resonable time but he was drunk as hell. usually when he gets that drunk he falls asleep and gets worse in his sleep and ends up going into cody's room and peeing. he has done that sense before he was born and we have moved houses sense then so its not that he goes into a sertain room thinking that that has to be the bathroom. well usually i catch him but the last time i didnt and he pee'ed all over cody's room WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING!!!! so when i saw he was drunk tonight i started crying bc i was so tired bc i hadnt gotten sleep the night before (just couldnt get confortable or wide awake and couldnt sleep) and was thinking i was going to have to stay up all night plus take care of cody in the morning with no sleep and when i am that tired i end up puking bc i end up with a migrain and sounds, and especialy smells end up getting to me really badly. at least i get to get a little sleep tonight (i hope) bc i remembered about baby gates halfway into this vent. so i went and put one up so if he did try to go anywhere down the hall past the bathroom i would hear him and wake up. ok is it bad that i have to put up a baby gate for my husband???
Hey thanks you guys for listening and letting me vent i know this was long but i needed to get it out there so i wouldnt dwell to much on it trying to get to sleep. i am really bad about holding vendedas when i cant do anything about whats on my mind. my brain just goes into overdrive when i am upset at something. so thank you again and i hope you guys had a much better night than i did.