Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
Don't know how to tell family.....
avatar
mrslee97658 posted:
I am really bad at this but the other times I have been preggo I just let them see me preggo and then let them ask me the question before I told them lol...It all started back when I gave birth to my first child when I was 16. My family was very unsupportive to say the least and they were really pushing me to go towards adoption. I litterally waited until about a week before giving birth to let them know I intended on keeping him. I just couldn't go through with adoption, it was too hard. So ever since then I have a hard time telling my family when I get preggo again.

I just don't want them to judge me. I know that they love my children but I already get rude comments from them about having 4. The weird thing is, technically my brother has four because he has 2 from his first wife, one with his girlfriend and she has one from her first marriage and they plan on getting married. My sister only has 2 and my younger brother doesn't have any yet. My sister is the one I am scared to tell. She is sooo judgemental. I guess I have to suck it up and be a big girl huh? And if they are mean then they don't have to see the baby. Thanks for listening ladies.
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011
Reply
 
avatar
Jen_FLMom responded:
What business is it of theirs how many kids you have anyway? That is sorta between you and your DH, right? I would be sooooo aggravated by that too. This is a special, wonderful time for a family whether it is the first baby or the 20th so I don't think you should let anybody rain on your parade. If that means not telling them until they figure it out on their own then so be it. *HUGS* to you though because I know if I were in your shoes I would be pretty hurt if my family had that kind of attitude about me being PG. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are going to have another baby!

 
avatar
mrslee97658 replied to Jen_FLMom's response:
Awww thanks Jen! I just don't know how to tell them this time cuz I have told everyone that we were definitely done. But God has his own way of letting people know that they are done having kids . I think I am going to wait until after my first Dr. Appt. next month then if they aren't happy for us oh well cuz we are delighted
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
 
avatar
jlbelknap35 replied to mrslee97658's response:
don't tell them just get one of those shirts that says baby with the arrow pointing to the belly and where that everywhere. you will then tell end up telling them the same way as your other one lol. they will become suspisious and ask you before you are even able to tell them. as for the judgement thing thats non of there beeswax. Its whatever you think you can sainly handle and if anyone is judging then that means they just done have the guts to have that big of a family... or they are just a$$holes that think they are better than everyone else. I give you lots a props though for having that many kids. I do however think that if we end up with all of them like my DS now then we might be the next 19 kids and counting lol.
 
avatar
stephs_3_kidz responded:
Ahhh..don't worry about what other people say/think.

People were FINE when I had my first two. Oh, they thought it was great. But they acted funny with the announcement of the third, and with the fourth, well...people started avoiding me like I had the plague. I figure they were just being judgmental and jealous.

So now I get comments like, "I hope one of you is fixed now!" or "You don't need any more kids, stop getting pregnant."

First off, I take care of my babies, my husband works his butt off to support the family, and I have a great marriage. If I wanted to have more kids (which I don't) then I certainly don't have to clear it with other people. If my life was ashambles and I was living on welfare, I'd expect to maybe hear that, but not in my circumstances.

So you just need to tell them, make sure they know you're thrilled, and move on. If they react negatively, don't let that make you feel bad, just ignore them and then go buy some baby stuff.
 
avatar
mrslee97658 replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
Thanks Steph. and lol no we are not on welfare or foodstamps or anything like that so yeah they don't have to the right to judge me based on that. I do take care of all of my babies and my husband is a hard worker too. Money is a little tight but we have A LOT of bills and some of those bills will be paid off soon. I just think my family isn't supportive because DH is black and all of my children are biracial but you couldn't tell by looking at some of them. And yeah that is a whooole nother issue but I really believe that is what it is. I think I will tell them after the first Dr's appt at the end of August.

I was thinking of changing my facebook profile pic to one of a pregnancy test and see how many respond since most of my family is on facebook anyway.(and now I have an extra one lying around lol) I know my dad will be happy and my extended family, but my older brother and sister and maybe some friends will be rude but oh well ****them lol. I don't want to start buying stuff until I feel more pregnant lol...if that makes any sense.
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
 
avatar
mrslee97658 replied to jlbelknap35's response:
lol I am sure I will get some of those comments about 19 and counting.....I am waiting for them to have #20!!!! They proly won't though cuz they are older and they had all of those problems having Josie. But I am sure I will get comments like we are trying to be Angelina and Brad Pitt. that would be true if my children were adopted but none of them are
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
 
avatar
BabyLovesPrada replied to mrslee97658's response:
Ruth, the only thing I would be concerened with, is it might make family members mad to find out on facebook rather than from you, JMHO cuz thats how I found out about my sister and I was pissed to say the least, so just something to think about and steph is right, great advice as usual!
 
avatar
mrslee97658 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
my family lol is "retarded" can't think of a better word for it lol and they don't give me their phone numbers. I only have my dad's and sister's number so they will have to find out on there or my sister's big mouth. The funny thing is they have my phone number but I don't get theirs. Go figure
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
 
avatar
BabyLovesPrada replied to mrslee97658's response:
In that case? screw em!
 
avatar
jlbelknap35 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
I'm with you Lyndee. If they dont have the curtisy to give you phone numbers to get ahold of them than screw them . and the 19 kids and counting thing and bradalina thing is stupid if they think that, there is still quite a few people now days that are still having more than 2 kids. also its not like your trying to adopt a kid from every country or anything lol.


Spotlight: Member Stories

I'm a 29 year old homemaker. My husband is active duty military. We have two beautiful girls. Hailey, who's 12 (from a previous relationship) ...More

Helpful Tips

Be the first to post a Tip!

Helpful Resources

Be the first to post a Resource!

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.