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Majorly p'oed
BabyLovesPrada posted:
Ok, so DH's best friend is getting married August 11th in NC
He is in CT, his family is in MA (as are we) and they decided to get married in the Outer Banks of NC
Origionally, they planned to get married in CT, but did not want to spend $30,000 on a wedding, so instead, they are renting 3 houses on the beach for a week at the cost of $10,000 EACH for the week and then are doing a backyard ceremony on the sand. Only the wedding party and their immediate families are invited.
My problem with that is he has some very close friends that she does not like that she refused to invite- I told her she did not have to host them, but invite them and provide the name of some area hotels and that chances are they will not come but will be happy that they were atleast invited. She said no way
she asked me my opinion about whether or not she should have a wedding shower, her intention was to invite people who were not invited to the wedding (SORRRY TACKY!!!!) well I got my invite for that last week, and I shipped a gift.
DH was asked to be the best man and because of work, I cannot go.Dh flies in Tuesday, wedding is wed and he is flying out thur 6 am
The wedding is in 2 weeks and DH found out a WEEK ago what he was wearing, no tuxs, but a white ralph lauren button down shirts and khaki pants. DH is 6'5 and is muscular he cannot generally buy clothes off the rack and he is not fat so a big and tall store does not work, so I have to order his clothes online and I am not going to tell you about the HELL we went through trying to find these specefic pieces. I had to get him a 4XL shirt and get it tailored. We paid for our groomsmen's tuxes, his ralph lauren shirt ALONE was $97,
Dh has tried time and time again to talk to his friend about what was going on with the wedding and he gets short or no response, he was DH's best man and DH is upset that he has not been involved at all, he feels like he is not helping out at all.
Dh was told to fly into Charlotte and drive the 3 HOURS to the Outer banks, well DH just called me, he had booked his ticket yesterday and was waiting for something to download on the computer so he mapquested from the airport to the wedding site, its FIVE and a HALF HOURS, the ticket for the closer airport is almost $200 more and I don't think we can get a refund on the other ticket, if not? $700
We have been refering to the wedding as the "circus" for a few months now, there is so much more to say, but I told DH I am 2 steps away from telling him not to go.
I realize this is all miniscule in the grand scheme of life, but this is costing us a bundle and its ridiculous!
He is in CT, his family is in MA (as are we) and they decided to get married in the Outer Banks of NC
Origionally, they planned to get married in CT, but did not want to spend $30,000 on a wedding, so instead, they are renting 3 houses on the beach for a week at the cost of $10,000 EACH for the week and then are doing a backyard ceremony on the sand. Only the wedding party and their immediate families are invited.
My problem with that is he has some very close friends that she does not like that she refused to invite- I told her she did not have to host them, but invite them and provide the name of some area hotels and that chances are they will not come but will be happy that they were atleast invited. She said no way
she asked me my opinion about whether or not she should have a wedding shower, her intention was to invite people who were not invited to the wedding (SORRRY TACKY!!!!) well I got my invite for that last week, and I shipped a gift.
DH was asked to be the best man and because of work, I cannot go.Dh flies in Tuesday, wedding is wed and he is flying out thur 6 am
The wedding is in 2 weeks and DH found out a WEEK ago what he was wearing, no tuxs, but a white ralph lauren button down shirts and khaki pants. DH is 6'5 and is muscular he cannot generally buy clothes off the rack and he is not fat so a big and tall store does not work, so I have to order his clothes online and I am not going to tell you about the HELL we went through trying to find these specefic pieces. I had to get him a 4XL shirt and get it tailored. We paid for our groomsmen's tuxes, his ralph lauren shirt ALONE was $97,
Dh has tried time and time again to talk to his friend about what was going on with the wedding and he gets short or no response, he was DH's best man and DH is upset that he has not been involved at all, he feels like he is not helping out at all.
Dh was told to fly into Charlotte and drive the 3 HOURS to the Outer banks, well DH just called me, he had booked his ticket yesterday and was waiting for something to download on the computer so he mapquested from the airport to the wedding site, its FIVE and a HALF HOURS, the ticket for the closer airport is almost $200 more and I don't think we can get a refund on the other ticket, if not? $700
We have been refering to the wedding as the "circus" for a few months now, there is so much more to say, but I told DH I am 2 steps away from telling him not to go.
I realize this is all miniscule in the grand scheme of life, but this is costing us a bundle and its ridiculous!
51 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedOk, so DH's best friend is getting married August 11th in NC<br /> <br />He is in CT, his family is in MA (as are we) and they decided to get married in the Outer Banks of NC<br /> <br />Origionally, they planned to get married in CT, but did not want to spend $30,000 on a wedding, so instead, they are renting 3 houses on the beach for a week at the cost of $10,000 EACH for the week and then are doing a backyard ceremony on the sand. Only the wedding party and their immediate families are invited.<br /> <br />My problem with that is he has some very close friends that she does not like that she refused to invite- I told her she did not have to host them, but invite them and provide the name of some area hotels and that chances are they will not come but will be happy that they were atleast invited. She said no way<br /> <br />she asked me my opinion about whether or not she should have a wedding shower, her intention was to invite people who were not invited to the wedding (SORRRY TACKY!!!!) well I got my invite for that last week, and I shipped a gift.<br /> <br />DH was asked to be the best man and because of work, I cannot go.Dh flies in Tuesday, wedding is wed and he is flying out thur 6 am<br /> <br />The wedding is in 2 weeks and DH found out a WEEK ago what he was wearing, no tuxs, but a white ralph lauren button down shirts and khaki pants. DH is 6'5 and is muscular he cannot generally buy clothes off the rack and he is not fat so a big and tall store does not work, so I have to order his clothes online and I am not going to tell you about the HELL we went through trying to find these specefic pieces. I had to get him a 4XL shirt and get it tailored. We paid for our groomsmen's tuxes, his ralph lauren shirt ALONE was $97, <br /> <br />Dh has tried time and time again to talk to his friend about what was going on with the wedding and he gets short or no response, he was DH's best man and DH is upset that he has not been involved at all, he feels like he is not helping out at all.<br /> <br />Dh was told to fly into Charlotte and drive the 3 HOURS to the Outer banks, well DH just called me, he had booked his ticket yesterday and was waiting for something to download on the computer so he mapquested from the airport to the wedding site, its FIVE and a HALF HOURS, the ticket for the closer airport is almost $200 more and I don't think we can get a refund on the other ticket, if not? $700 <br /> <br />We have been refering to the wedding as the "circus" for a few months now, there is so much more to say, but I told DH I am 2 steps away from telling him not to go.<br /> <br />I realize this is all miniscule in the grand scheme of life, but this is costing us a bundle and its ridiculous!
mrslee97658 responded:
Oh wow sorry Lyndee. It does sound a little bit ridiculous! And JMO but who gets married on a Wed anyway???? When we got married we just went to Vegas, it was a lot less hastle and soooo much cheaper. and they way I read your post aren't they spending $30,000 anyway???? I can see them wanting to get married on the beach, the romantics and everything but if they are paying the same then why not get married where you live? But obviously its their wedding and that is what they want, and sorry that you and DH have to go through that.
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedOh wow sorry Lyndee. It does sound a little bit ridiculous! And JMO but who gets married on a Wed anyway???? When we got married we just went to Vegas, it was a lot less hastle and soooo much cheaper. and they way I read your post aren't they spending $30,000 anyway???? I can see them wanting to get married on the beach, the romantics and everything but if they are paying the same then why not get married where you live? But obviously its their wedding and that is what they want, and sorry that you and DH have to go through that.
BabyLovesPrada replied to mrslee97658's response:
I just got married last year, so I get the whole its there wedding thing, yes they spent $30,000 to rent three houses to have a BBQ after, they are making the wedding party get dressed up, there is no photographer, no music, no cake, nothing literally hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill.
Here in MA we have Cape Cod, Nantucket,Martha's vinyard that are 1000 times nicer then the OBX, would not require people to travel ect Its just incredibly frustrating, $700 for the flight another 350 for the rental car to drive 3 and a half hours plus gas and then his food while he is gone so you figure 1200 atleast, for ONE person to go and watch them exchange vows in the middle of August in the hot sun after you drove half the day to get there to turn around after the ceremony to drive 3 and a 1/2 hours and sleep in the airport waiting for your 6 am flight.
If she lived there or had family there fine, but that is not the case, its just annoying and I know I am coming off as really selfish, but i have just told you a fraction of what has happened with this in the last year KWIM?
Here in MA we have Cape Cod, Nantucket,Martha's vinyard that are 1000 times nicer then the OBX, would not require people to travel ect Its just incredibly frustrating, $700 for the flight another 350 for the rental car to drive 3 and a half hours plus gas and then his food while he is gone so you figure 1200 atleast, for ONE person to go and watch them exchange vows in the middle of August in the hot sun after you drove half the day to get there to turn around after the ceremony to drive 3 and a 1/2 hours and sleep in the airport waiting for your 6 am flight.
If she lived there or had family there fine, but that is not the case, its just annoying and I know I am coming off as really selfish, but i have just told you a fraction of what has happened with this in the last year KWIM?
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedI just got married last year, so I get the whole its there wedding thing, yes they spent $30,000 to rent three houses to have a BBQ after, they are making the wedding party get dressed up, there is no photographer, no music, no cake, nothing literally hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill. <br /> <br />Here in MA we have Cape Cod, Nantucket,Martha's vinyard that are 1000 times nicer then the OBX, would not require people to travel ect Its just incredibly frustrating, $700 for the flight another 350 for the rental car to drive 3 and a half hours plus gas and then his food while he is gone so you figure 1200 atleast, for ONE person to go and watch them exchange vows in the middle of August in the hot sun after you drove half the day to get there to turn around after the ceremony to drive 3 and a 1/2 hours and sleep in the airport waiting for your 6 am flight.<br /> <br />If she lived there or had family there fine, but that is not the case, its just annoying and I know I am coming off as really selfish, but i have just told you a fraction of what has happened with this in the last year KWIM?
3point14 responded:
I feel bad that your husband doesn't get to be a more active participant as the best man 
That's, to me, the biggest shame.
That's, to me, the biggest shame.Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedI feel bad that your husband doesn't get to be a more active participant as the best man <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/frown.gif" align="top" border="0"> That's, to me, the biggest shame.
BabyLovesPrada replied to 3point14's response:
And honestly? that IS the most upseting thing! even tho Josh lives in CT, we kept him in the loop and met with him regularly, he was THERE for the tux fitting with us and he actually was the one who picked out the tuxes! Marc would talk to him atleast once a week. I am the financial one in the family so I am looking more at that.
Marc has always considered josh to be like a lil brother and he wants to do ANYTHING he can to be there for his best friend but its like he is more of an incomvience than anything, Marc doesnt even know who else is in the wedding! and he has asked!
I just don't know
Marc has always considered josh to be like a lil brother and he wants to do ANYTHING he can to be there for his best friend but its like he is more of an incomvience than anything, Marc doesnt even know who else is in the wedding! and he has asked!
I just don't know
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedAnd honestly? that IS the most upseting thing! even tho Josh lives in CT, we kept him in the loop and met with him regularly, he was THERE for the tux fitting with us and he actually was the one who picked out the tuxes! Marc would talk to him atleast once a week. I am the financial one in the family so I am looking more at that.<br /> <br />Marc has always considered josh to be like a lil brother and he wants to do ANYTHING he can to be there for his best friend but its like he is more of an incomvience than anything, Marc doesnt even know who else is in the wedding! and he has asked! <br />I just don't know
kristinmarie722 responded:
All I can offer is (((HUGS))) this whole thing sounds like a HUGE PITA. Anymore I feel like all weddings are like that. It always costs a ton of money, tons of energy making plans for the wedding, the shower, etc. Most of that comes from me living hours away from all of my friends that get married, but it's such a PITA. This most recent wedding I am going to be in, is actually the least stressful. The bride is so easy going about everything and really grateful and apperciative about everything.
And I think having a wedding shower for uninvited guests is tacky.
And I think having a wedding shower for uninvited guests is tacky.
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedAll I can offer is (((HUGS))) this whole thing sounds like a HUGE PITA. Anymore I feel like all weddings are like that. It always costs a ton of money, tons of energy making plans for the wedding, the shower, etc. Most of that comes from me living hours away from all of my friends that get married, but it's such a PITA. This most recent wedding I am going to be in, is actually the least stressful. The bride is so easy going about everything and really grateful and apperciative about everything. <br />And I think having a wedding shower for uninvited guests is tacky.
mrslee97658 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
You're not coming off as selfish at all. I agree with you totally. I was just saying you know what can he do now since its already planned. IMO I think it might be her who is getting her way and he is just going with it. I can't believe that they expect your DH to pay $1200 for hamburgers and hotdogs. Hell they coulda had that in their own backyard.
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedYou're not coming off as selfish at all. I agree with you totally. I was just saying you know what can he do now since its already planned. IMO I think it might be her who is getting her way and he is just going with it. I can't believe that they expect your DH to pay $1200 for hamburgers and hotdogs. Hell they coulda had that in their own backyard.
IslandL replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
You don't sound selfish at all! The bride and groom however....
To give them benefit of doubt, I suppose they thought it would be fun for the family and wedding party to hang out with them on an island for a week at their expense. But it doesn't sound like they considered the travel expense and inconvience of driving to the destination. If they really wanted certain key people to be there, they should have been willing to help with the travel expenses. Driving 5 1/2 hours after taking a flight to get there and then having to drive the same back is asinine. If I were your DH I would have just said "Sorry man, can't do it. When you come back to MA I'll throw you a helluva party though." Including all those friends the bride doesn't like.
If there aren't going to be formal pic's I see no reason whatsoever dictating what the best man should wear. It's on the beach for Pete's sake - people usually wear whatever's comfortable to beach weddings. And no, it isn't appropriate to send invitations to a shower if those people aren't going to be invited to the wedding. That's flat out saying, "Give me a gift, sucker."
I don't blame you one bit for being pissed.
To give them benefit of doubt, I suppose they thought it would be fun for the family and wedding party to hang out with them on an island for a week at their expense. But it doesn't sound like they considered the travel expense and inconvience of driving to the destination. If they really wanted certain key people to be there, they should have been willing to help with the travel expenses. Driving 5 1/2 hours after taking a flight to get there and then having to drive the same back is asinine. If I were your DH I would have just said "Sorry man, can't do it. When you come back to MA I'll throw you a helluva party though." Including all those friends the bride doesn't like.
If there aren't going to be formal pic's I see no reason whatsoever dictating what the best man should wear. It's on the beach for Pete's sake - people usually wear whatever's comfortable to beach weddings. And no, it isn't appropriate to send invitations to a shower if those people aren't going to be invited to the wedding. That's flat out saying, "Give me a gift, sucker."
I don't blame you one bit for being pissed.
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oed<b><i>You </i></b>don't sound selfish at all! The bride and groom however....<br /> <br />To give them benefit of doubt, I suppose they thought it would be fun for the family and wedding party to hang out with them on an island for a week at their expense. But it doesn't sound like they considered the travel expense and <i>inconvience of driving to the destination</i>. If they really wanted certain key people to be there, they should have been willing to help with the travel expenses. Driving 5 1/2 hours after taking a flight to get there and then having to drive the same back is asinine. If I were your DH I would have just said "Sorry man, can't do it. When you come back to MA I'll throw you a helluva party though." Including all those friends the bride doesn't like. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/wink.gif" align="top" border="0"><br /> <br />If there aren't going to be formal pic's I see no reason whatsoever dictating what the best man should wear. It's on the beach for Pete's sake - people usually wear whatever's comfortable to beach weddings. And no, it isn't appropriate to send invitations to a shower if those people aren't going to be invited to the wedding. That's flat out saying, "Give me a gift, sucker."<br /> <br />I don't blame you one bit for being pissed.
BabyLovesPrada replied to kristinmarie722's response:
Thanks Kristen, I apprecaite it, on another note, Marc's other best friend who was also in our wedding party was Josh's college roommate, is not invited, the kid was CRUSHED, he is such a great guy, She had met him once- for 10 whole minutes, but because she heard stories about how crazy they were in college (and who wasent?!?!?) she does not want him or any of his "old" (before her) friends there. So its not just how this is effecting us, but also Mike and I feel terrible for him.
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedThanks Kristen, I apprecaite it, on another note, Marc's other best friend who was also in our wedding party was Josh's college roommate, is not invited, the kid was CRUSHED, he is such a great guy, She had met him once- for 10 whole minutes, but because she heard stories about how crazy they were in college (and who wasent?!?!?) she does not want him or any of his "old" (before her) friends there. So its not just how this is effecting us, but also Mike and I feel terrible for him.
BabyLovesPrada replied to mrslee97658's response:
Thanks Ruth, but I will admit when I am being a brat and right now? yes I am being a brat, its just making me SO mad!
You hit the nail on the head, he does whatever she wants and its sad really, I really hope they are married forever and happy for his sake, but even his parents do not think they should get married.
Oh well
You hit the nail on the head, he does whatever she wants and its sad really, I really hope they are married forever and happy for his sake, but even his parents do not think they should get married.
Oh well
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedThanks Ruth, but I will admit when I am being a brat and right now? yes I am being a brat, its just making me SO mad! <br /> <br />You hit the nail on the head, he does whatever she wants and its sad really, I really hope they are married forever and happy for his sake, but even his parents do not think they should get married.<br /> <br />Oh well
mrslee97658 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
Lol is this going to air on Bridezilla's?????LOL
(Me)Ruth (26), DH Steve (42), DS1 Tavion(10),DD Shakayla(7),DS2 Brandon(4), DS3 Kobie(3) and new LO EDD 3/22/2011 On green team hoping for pink!
BabyLovesPrada replied to mrslee97658's response:
Seriously!
In a way, I am glad I am not going to be there cuz if there are meltdowns, I might have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut and that would just not be good for anyone and I would never want to do that to josh cuz even tho he is not acting like himself, still love him to death and will support him any way I can.
In a way, I am glad I am not going to be there cuz if there are meltdowns, I might have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut and that would just not be good for anyone and I would never want to do that to josh cuz even tho he is not acting like himself, still love him to death and will support him any way I can.
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedSeriously!<br /> <br />In a way, I am glad I am not going to be there cuz if there are meltdowns, I might have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut and that would just not be good for anyone and I would never want to do that to josh cuz even tho he is not acting like himself, still love him to death and will support him any way I can.
ImMe26 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
Ive never understood how someone else's wedding cost the guest money....I truly dont get the concept...but to each his own...
I would say your with in your rights to be upset, hell id gave up along time ago...to much issues and things not be communicated......but none the less if it gets to be tooo much then talk to DH...I know they are best friends but he wasnt even considered when the fitting and things were happening and its pure chaos....
Sorry your going thru this girl....just breathe thru it.
I would say your with in your rights to be upset, hell id gave up along time ago...to much issues and things not be communicated......but none the less if it gets to be tooo much then talk to DH...I know they are best friends but he wasnt even considered when the fitting and things were happening and its pure chaos....
Sorry your going thru this girl....just breathe thru it.
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedIve never understood how someone else's wedding cost the guest money....I truly dont get the concept...but to each his own...<br /> <br />I would say your with in your rights to be upset, hell id gave up along time ago...to much issues and things not be communicated......but none the less if it gets to be tooo much then talk to DH...I know they are best friends but he wasnt even considered when the fitting and things were happening and its pure chaos....<br /> <br /> <br />Sorry your going thru this girl....just breathe thru it.
3point14 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
Ugh, with the whole not inviting pre-her people...sounds like she'll be ohsomuch fun to be married to!
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedUgh, with the whole not inviting pre-her people...sounds like she'll be ohsomuch fun to be married to!<br /> <br /<img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/angry.gif" align="top" border="0">
cjh1203 replied to BabyLovesPrada's response:
Maybe the groom will let your husband be more involved in his divorce celebration.
It sounds like the bride is pulling all the strings and her fiance is probably going along with it because he doesn't want to make waves.
If she acts the same once they're married, there's no way the marriage is going to last.
It amazes me that some women think that being a bride turns them into the Queen of England. They forget that millions and millions of other women have managed to get married, too -- anyone can do it. People might be excited for you when you're getting married, but they don't think the world orbits around your amazing self just because you're going to be a bride. Controlling and orchestrating every tiny thing seems to have become more important to a lot of brides than surrounding themselves with people who have loved and supported them, and more important than the marriage itself.
Anyway, she sounds incredibly selfish and annoying, and I would be glad to be staying home, too.
It sounds like the bride is pulling all the strings and her fiance is probably going along with it because he doesn't want to make waves.
If she acts the same once they're married, there's no way the marriage is going to last.
It amazes me that some women think that being a bride turns them into the Queen of England. They forget that millions and millions of other women have managed to get married, too -- anyone can do it. People might be excited for you when you're getting married, but they don't think the world orbits around your amazing self just because you're going to be a bride. Controlling and orchestrating every tiny thing seems to have become more important to a lot of brides than surrounding themselves with people who have loved and supported them, and more important than the marriage itself.
Anyway, she sounds incredibly selfish and annoying, and I would be glad to be staying home, too.
Report This| Share this:Majorly p'oedMaybe the groom will let your husband be more involved in his divorce celebration.<br /><br />It sounds like the bride is pulling all the strings and her fiance is probably going along with it because he doesn't want to make waves. <br /><br />If she acts the same once they're married, there's no way the marriage is going to last.<br /><br />It amazes me that some women think that being a bride turns them into the Queen of England. They forget that millions and millions of other women have managed to get married, too -- anyone can do it. People might be excited for you when you're getting married, but they don't think the world orbits around your amazing self just because you're going to be a bride. Controlling and orchestrating every tiny thing seems to have become more important to a lot of brides than surrounding themselves with people who have loved and supported them, and more important than the marriage itself.<br /><br />Anyway, she sounds incredibly selfish and annoying, and I would be glad to be staying home, too.
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