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Alzheimer's and Sex-Advise
An_190742 posted:
I need advice. My husband, who has Diabetes, Stage 3 kidney disease, and has had radical prostate cancer surgery, has also been diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer's.

As a result of diabetes and the surgery for prostate cancer, he has been impotent for years. His personal hygeine is almost non-existant, and he won't allow me to help him bathe, since he chooses not to.

A couple of weeks ago he decided that he can be sexually active, and to appease him, I tried. Of course it was in vain, and honestly, with his hygeine so bad, I don't want to participate in any sexual activity.

He asked me when I was going to "service him" 2 days ago. I was speechless, and gave no answer. Since then he sits in a chair and doesn't talk to me. What am I supposed to do in this situation?

I understand that he is very unhappy. On top of everything else, he is legally blind and can hardly see the picture on the 50"TV, sitting 3 feet from the screen. How best to deal withthis situation? Please Help!
Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear Anon_53512,

I would strongly suggest talking to your husband's doctor. He or she may be able to suggest some courses of action that would help your situation. There may be something like an aid, therapist, medication, etc. that he or she can discuss with you about your current situation. In this Alzheimer's FAQ , it discusses the desire for sex and Alzheimer's.

However, I do want you to be safe and protective of yourself and your needs. In this article on Alzheimer's Symptoms , it mentions "Verbal and physical aggression" and "Inability to control impulses, which may lead to unusual or inappropriate actions. Men are somewhat more likely than women to exhibit behavior problems such as wandering, abusiveness, and social impropriety." It's very important that you seek any help or counseling and support you might need to help you through this difficult time.

Write back and let us know how you're doing,


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