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    Thank sgiving
    pupswelcome posted:
    How do I deal with the guilt of not taking Mother to the family Thanksgiving dinner next week? She will be moving from an assisted living unit into a memory support unit this week, which will be traumatic in itself. She doesn't do well in crowds. My sister & I have agreed that it would do more harm than good to take her to the family gathering. The guilt is eating me alive!!!
    cjh1203 responded:
    Does she know that Thanksgiving is next week? Has she said anything about the family dinner? If she doesn't realize it's Thanksgiving, maybe it won't be an issue.

    Perhaps you and your sister, and maybe another family member or two, could take some food from your Thanksgiving dinner and have your own little dinner with her that night, depending on when your family dinner is.

    If she does realize it's Thanksgiving, I think it's probably important to celebrate it with her, too, if at all possible, but it doesn't need to be with the entire family.
    Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi pupswelcome,

    I am sorry that your family is dealing with this. Maybe spending time with mom before going to the family dinner would be good for you and her.
    Helene Bergman, LMSW responded:
    Families often feel emotional at Holiday time especially if a parent is unable to join them to celebrate. You and your sister seem to be aware and respectful of your mother's needs and comfort and that is to be commended. You are doing her a service by not overwhelming her in a crowd. If it is possible, you can celebrate with her in a different setting and at a different time. Most facilities plan holiday celebrations for residents at a time different from the specific holiday. This enables families to come there and dine with their loved ones rather than taking them out of their 'comfort zone'. If her memory support unit does not offer this, then you can plan your own 'mock Thanksgiving Dinner' with her. It is common for memory impaired persons to be disoriented to day/time so you will be creating a Thanksgiving Day of your own. Good luck!

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