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Which is it? It's hard enough without receiving 2 opposing opinions.
Thanks for your help.
I think this has to be a very personal decision, and I don't know if anyone here can help you make it. I see what your doctor is saying -- that it's probably a good thing to just let your husband go -- but I'm not sure why hospice recommends the opposite. Normally, I think the major role of hospice is comfort of the patient, rather than steps to prolong life. Has anyone from hospice given you an explanation for their recommendation that your husband be given antibiotics? If not, I would definitely ask.
Someone here may know more about this than I do, and I'm sorry I can't be of more help. My heart goes out to you.
Carol
Thanks again.
Lynn
I've been thinking about you. I'm sure you've been through some really tough years with your husband's disease. I hope you have friends and family who can give you the support you need as you go through this part of the process.
Best wishes.
Carol
I have been blessed with a great friend who has been a wonderful shoulder to cry on, laugh with and just be there. Unfortunately they have sold their home and moving back to Florida. Am sure we will keep the phone lines burning!
I signed on to this website a couple of years ago but was totally ignored, all the members then seemed to have a connection and didn't have time for a newbie. Glad to see that no longer exists! So many caregivers are struggling and need a kind word of support.
I will be glad to pass on the info from hospice after our meeting.
Thanks,
Lynn
I hope this helps if someone else is facing this decision.
Best,
Lynn
You have been through such a long, hard journey with your husband. It sounds like the hospice advice you just received makes sense. Whether or not your husband seems alert, he is still able to hear your comforting voice, listen to sweet music he has always loved and feel the touch of your hand in his.
Here's to some precious moments together whatever the outcome.
Judy
Does your husband seem reasonably comfortable at this point?
I'm so glad you have a friend to lean on, but sorry that she's moving away. Still, you're right -- that's what phones are for! I'm sure you'll miss her, though.
This board has been particularly quiet in the past few weeks -- I'm not sure why. I worry about everyone we haven't heard from. Anyway, we always welcome new people, although it may take a while to get a reply since there are so few of us right now.
I echo Judy's wish for some lovely moments with your husband. This is a very bittersweet time, I'm sure.
Carol
It's one day at a time but there are still more good days than bad and I am delighted that he is at peace in his environment and with me - though that may change. Life is still good.
Thanks so much for your kind words, a few words go a long long way!
Lynn
What you said about the Hershey bars made me laugh, because chocolate seems to be a big part of everyone's life once there is Alzheimer's in the family! My uncle had Alzheimer's and, even though he had never had a sweet tooth, he just inhaled chocolate in the last years of his life. Other people here have said the same thing.
It's nice that your husband knows there is a connection with you, even if he's not clear on what it is. How sweet, too, that he tries to do things for you and loves your hugs.
The best thing is that there are more good days than bad. I hope that will always be the case.
Carol
I hope your husband continues to recover. He sounds like a fighter, too. I am sure you are a great comfort to him, and the Hershey bars and hugs seal the deal. I always found that ice cream is another great treat, but the Hershey bars are even better.
So glad that you know how to relate to him to make those magic moments happen.
Judy
Doug is feeling alot better but still has a bit of congestion. Hospice recommended a humidifier which I purchased. The nursing home said no I said yes. The humidifier is now in operation and it has helped!
He is eating better, though last night he was in his "terrible twos" and was throwing food and getting angry. But with soft talk and a promise of a Hershey bar we managed to get things done. This sundowners part is difficult on the staff, especially if there are several residents who have it. Several of us who have family there for AZ have banded together and watch each other's family member. This helps when sundowners syndrome takes over. It's like a full moon thing - it seems to be especially bad on everyone at the same time. Don't know if there has been a study on why a flare-up seems to happen within a group. It would be interesting to know.
Thanks so much for your caring words.
Take care,
Lynn
If you don't mind my asking, what was wrong with the nursing homes? Were they ones that specialized in memory-care patients?
I would strongly recommend you contact your local Alzheimer's Association. They can help you figure out what to do about getting some help with your mother, and offer you support and resources. You don't need to go through this alone.
Please come back here and let us know how you're doing. The board isn't very active right now, but I check in a few times a day, and Dr. Judith London can offer professional advice.
Best wishes-
Carol
You need time to care for yourself, stress wreaks havoc on your health. I'm delighted you are taking classes, I believe we all need to re-direct our thought processes especially when we are inundated with seemingly never ending stresses.
What happened with the nursing homes, if you don't mind my asking?
Take care of yourself and keep in touch with this board, it helps.
Lynn
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