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what makes them like you or not
malmarky posted:
My Mom is in a alzeimers facility for about 1 month, what makes them look at people and determine they are good or bad ? One person will be fine the next person she instantly dislikes starting to trickle down to her family also
cjh1203 responded:
Hi malmarky. I'm so sorry about your mom.

I don't really know what makes an Alzheimer's patient dislike someone, but I think that paranoia can be part of the disease and that may contribute to it. They may look at someone and think that person is going to try to hurt them or take things from them.

When it comes to family members, do you think your mom remembers who they are (the ones she is taking a dislike to)? Alzheimer's patients often stop recognizing family members, so she may think those people are strangers, and she's afraid of them.

Here are a couple of articles that might help: and .

Maybe someone else here will have more insight for you.

Best wishes.

malmarky replied to cjh1203's response:
Hi Carol,
Thank You or your insight, it is very hard never know what you are going to get when you go see her, I am very new to this and trying to learn everything I can.
cjh1203 replied to malmarky's response:
Hi Linda-

I hope you'll feel free to come here with any questions or concerns, or just to vent. We'll help as much as we can.

Do you have an Alzheimer's Association in your area? They offer support groups that can be invaluable, because everyone else is or has been in the same boat as you. They can help you with the practical and emotional aspects of having a loved one with Alzheimer's.

Take care.

malmarky replied to cjh1203's response:
We do have an Alzheimer's Association in our area, I really need to call them and get on board. Thanks again.
Judith L London, PhD replied to malmarky's response:
Hi Linda,

Contacting the Alzheimer's Assn. is an excellent idea. Your mother's reactions may be part of a transitional process. Sometimes we refer to this as 'tranfer trauma'. Just think how any of us would feel if we suddenly found ourselves in a totally strange environment and had new faces everywhere. We might feel cranky one day and OK the next. She may see someone who reminds her of someone she did not like from her past.

Your mother is expressing her feelings the only way available to her. She will probably settle in as the weeks go by.

Meanwhile, you have done her a service in placing her. Now she can receive the stimulation and interaction that she needs. Just go with her feelings by empathizing her, whatever she feels.

I lead an Alzheimer's support group for caregivers like you who report similar stories when they placed a loved one in a memory residence.

Please take care of yourself - sounds like your mother is being cared for.

Keep us posted,
malmarky replied to Judith L London, PhD's response:
You have given me a lot to think about, I really hope she does settle in soon, it is agony to see her like this, I am always second guessing myself on her care.


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