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gramma826 posted:
Hi, I recently started helping a friend who's husband has Alzheimer's, He's had it for about 10 yrs now, has gotten worse in the last few months. Her concern is that up until about a month ago he was shaving himself with and electric razor, now he get agitated when she ties to shave him, she is using hair clippers because it get a little off and he seems to tolerate it. She is frustrated because she doesn't understand why he doesn't like the razor anymore.
Any advise for her?

Thanks gramma826
cjh1203 responded:
Hi, grama826. How nice of you to help your friend with her husband. Having your help must relieve some of her stress and make her life easier, and she's lucky to have you.

It's hard to know why he all of a sudden started getting upset by the razor. It could be that the razor pulled his hair one time, or hurt him in some other way, and that made him afraid of it, or maybe it could even be the noise.

Perhaps she could get a different brand of razor -- one that looks a lot different from the old one -- and see if he's willing to try that. She might tell him that she heard it was a really good razor and that she knows he'll like it a lot better than the clippers (probably better not to mention the old razor).

This is the kind of situation where trying to reason with him is not likely to work, and will only make him dig in his heels more, so if a different razor doesn't do the trick, she may have to keep using the hair clippers.

If you have a local Alzheimer's Association, you might try attending a support group meeting and see if any of the people there have had a similar experience.

Best wishes.

gramma826 replied to cjh1203's response:
Thank-you Carol, that what we thought too. I will let her know thanks you so much.

Judith L London, PhD replied to gramma826's response:
Hi grama 826,

What a good griend you are. It's great that your friend can share some of the day-to-day challenges she faces. If a new razor doesn't work, reassure your friend that beards are in style, and that fighting over shaving may not be worth it. Her husband could be upset that he can't shave himself; shaving represents manhood to alot of men who eagerly awaited that first shave when they were teenagers. She needs to ask herself: how important is it to be clean-shaven?

I'm glad that you support her and continue to write in on her behalf.

An_243249 responded:
Hello gramma826. You are a very kind woman as Carol has already stated. Anyone helping someone who has Alzheimer's(or any illness fo that matter) has to be a good person at heart. Unfortunately, not everyone seems to be able to find even a bit of time to help others probably already know that.

As far as the electric shaver.......there seems to be two types. I have seen one that is rounded at the top and then another with three(3) separate round, flat shavers on top. Even "Walgreen's" has a sale on ":Emerson" men's electric shavers right now for only $10.00! Maybe the gentleman DID have his hair pulled on his face as Carol said when his hair was a bit longer on his face and he remembers that. If she could just use the clippers first and then try a different looking "style" from Walgreen's(opposite from what he had before), then she might be able to convince him that it IS "different" and will be very smooth feeling on his skin. Just a suggestion.

I know about Alzheimer's as my dear friend of 32 years has been diagnosed with it in the past year. She is 75 years old. Not that old. She had had a number of falls beforehand and in a few, hit her head terribly. Part of it could be a severe head injury. She naturally has terrible memory problems and not sleeping and staring at the TV sometimes when it is on a "non-station." Other times, she might be rather lucid in some ways. It all depends.

I certainly wish you and your friend and her husband the very best and I will be praying especially for him and also, for both of you.

Take care. Sue
An_243249 replied to cjh1203's response:
Dear Carol,

Hello! It has been so very long since I have spoken with you. It is Sue. My computer became very fouled up and it took this long(a few months) before the cable company could fix it).

How have you been? Alright, I hope. I also hope you haqd nice holidays. I wish you a very Happy New Year and a very Healthy one. Both you and your husband!

How are your "babies?" Fine, I hope.

I am sorry to be writing here, but, I already tried to help gramma also as you did and I have been trying to contact you once again. I hope it is alright.

Take good care and good to see you helping everyone again.
cjh1203 replied to An_243249's response:
Hi Sue! I've wondered about you every time I come here, and am so glad to hear from you.

I'm on my way out the door in a few minutes but will will write more when I get back this afternoon.

Great to see you back!