Alzheimer's Community

Hello, healus88, and welcome. I am sorry you are going through this but fully understand.

The title of your post mentions "pre alzheimer's", but you say your mom was diagnosed with Dementia. Alzheimer's Disease is one form of a Dementia. Have you had a specialist evaluate your mom and diagnose what the type of Dementia? A neuro-psycholigist specializing in Dementias diagnosed my dad with mild to moderate Alzheimer's early last year. Has your mom seen a neurologist also that specialized in Dementia? Finally, is your mom on any medications to try to help slow the progress?

Another good source for Alzheimer's and other Dementias is the Alzheimer's Origination at http://www.alz.org

You are in the right place. Please come often to share, ask questions or just vent. We all understand.

Hi Healus88,

You are so caring to move to be nearby during this troublesome time. Definitely get a diagnosis - accepting the term 'dementia' is like describing a set of symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat, and aches without knowing what is causing it.

There is a condition called mild cognitive impaiment wherein about half those with it develop Alzheimer's within 5 years - and half do not. However, that usually affects short-term memory only.

Hope you can get some clarification about what's going on. Check out memory centers nearby in the major NY hospitals.

Hang in,
Judy

hi dave and judith, yes took my mom to neurologist 2 actually one specializes in alzheimers disease ....first doc said dementia which is onset of alzheimers second doc yr later was 2nd opinion and he said def alzheimers....she was put on several meds aricept and bunch of others in that family of meds made her sick so thats why i got second opinion from specialist ...she is on exylon patch to bypass the stomache so she wouldnt throw up or have horrible dizziness ...and they tried her on namenda as well which would help her brain cells communicate better but she had same effect dizziness and throwin up etc...couldnt function so doc just prescribed namenda drops so she can take little at time and see if i makes some sort a diff for her....if not , she does still use the patch so at least she is getting some meds for the disease...also have her on b12 and omegas which i read can b helpful...she has progressed alot since her diagnosis...i have moved several times to get closer an more available to her ....i love mom so i try to do all i can but it has not been easy as i have my own health issues and sometimes need rest desperately...she doesnt cook anymore and barely eats unless i tell her but i realized ritual works with her ....she knows thrs is diner day for us soup and any good thing she would like to eat...she has to have same plan over and over same thing or it becomes utter chaos....like adding one extra pill to her pill box....lol its like that pill is there now and it bothers her....something so simple creates havoc for her....she does like to wander but still knows where she lives everyone in her senior community knows her so they are helpful ....soon i see her moving cause i cant b there 24/7 ....my biggest issue is her listening to me....she likes to do what she wants , lies about it...esp money and smoking...she smokes and i cant stop her ....she is obsessed with smoking and cleaning , go figure...kinda ocd ways about her...i feel it is because she cannot control her disease so she must find something to control and that would b those two things....she gets angry cause she thinks the family sometimes is ganging up on her but we arent she has her own way of thinking sometimes and no matter how hard u try to explain a compliment or otherwise she gets mad...we laugh it off....my aunts and me....that is ...she has become very set more than ever in her ways ....i want her to come stay with me more ...im about 45 min away and there are times i just am tired but would like her to stay a couple days so i can feed her and take care of her and cherrish her but she says no she has things to do....that means watch tv or pet the cat....lol so i say ok and respect her space for now...cause there may come a time i will have to put my foot down with her living arrangements...and care..well ill write more later ....oh she has hudreds of word find books and i go over questions with her , her name , moms name dads name soc security number addy etc to refresh her memory....she forgets , writes it down and forgets where she wrote it down....this all is worrisome ....but i try to find some humor in the day

Hi Healus. That's too bad about your mother's reaction to the medications but, as you say, at least she is still getting something.

Do you know if her Vitamin D levels have been checked? That can also make a difference.

It sounds like you're finding out first-hand that the most important things to an Alzheimer's patient are routine and structure. Any kind of change is very upsetting, and something like staying with you part of the time can be overwhelming because it takes her out of her safe routine.

My uncle had Alzheimer's and smoked like a chimney -- and often dropped his cigarette on the carpet. We were all afraid that he would drop it on himself or burn the house down one day. The doctor told him that he was going to prescribe a patch for him to wear for a few weeks, and that if he smoked he would get very sick and have to go to the hospital, and that was enough to get my uncle to quit immediately.

That is the sort of thing that my aunt and the rest of us learned by trial and error. If he was told something (kindly, of course), he reacted much, much better than if we tried to reason with him or explain that something was for his own good. It can be just like dealing with a child, where the patient is not capable of processing what you're saying and unable to make the best decision.

If your mother is not eating, it might be time to see if you can get someone in to help her for a few hours a day. Loss of taste and smell are common in Alzheimer's patients, so sometimes eating isn't pleasurable any more and they just stop doing it.

It sounds like you help her a great deal but, since you are 45 minutes away and have your own health problems, you would probably be compromising your health by taking on too much of her care. She needs you to be healthy for her.

It would be good to contact your local Alzheimer's Association and talk to someone there about the situation with your mother, and get some help and advice from them. Since all they do is deal with Alzheimer's families, they have a lot of resources, experience and advice to help you.

I hope you'll keep us updated.

Best wishes.

Carol

thanks carol, i prepare alot of her meals n take her grocery shopping for foods she can easily eat....she still will eat a salad and other things microwaveable...roll up sandwiches with lunch meat etc...easy things....she can throw together...her brother died about 3 yrs ago from emphazema and she was very upset but it didnt stop her....she sees the commercials on smoking affects and then goes out and smokes ....she has no regard for what she is doing...she will even laugh and say yeah i know...her mother had breast cancer and died cause it went to other organs and brain....i think smoking is a ocd....like cleaning she does....she is obsessed with it...where she lives alot of the girls get to gether and smoke ea day and talk..so its also social...r whole family has talked to her about this but she has to stop cause she wants to or otherwise she lies and it becomes secretive we dont want that...so we have the doc talk to her every visit about smoking and how she would benefit so much from giving it up....doc is very nice....she just doesnt care....she has gotten very selfish as well where other pple feelings sometimes are not important , its what she wants when she wants . like a 2 yr old child....forget trying to ask or tell her anything cause somethng so simple becomes a fiasco....confusion confusion....we go in circles...so i limit what she needs to actually know ....i will go in today to take her shopping ....oh she is horrible with money ....if she gets it she spends it on nonsense ....she doesnt think or reason ....my brothers help out when i cannot so i am lucky to have them ..and my aunt helps out when she can as well so i do have pple i can call if i need them....everyone is now on the same page as to what is going on with her disease, whereas before it was just me who was doing it all and i just couldnt anymore , i had to ask my family for help ....so i am the main caregiver cause everyone else works fulltime ...i just take one day at a time and eventually we will make more decisions regarding her care and health....thanks for the support....