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Alzheimer's Support and Advice Please
createasmile posted:
I really need some advice. I am living in Texas and I am a 100% service connected disabled veteran. My mom lives in DC and she has really gotten worst but we dont have the money to hire a home care nurse so I contacted Family Adult Protective Services in DC and they set her up with a nurse two days a week but she needs more care. The problem is she has money in her accounts because she retired from the federal government after 38years but none of us have access and she wont sign nothing. We just want her to be able to stay in her home because she is happy when she is at home but when she got sick and went to a nursing home she was sad everyday. Now that she is back home which was recently she has been so happy. I am so sad and stress worrying about her but I have four children myself and with my health it has been hard. Is there something we can do? I don't want anything to happen to her at home by herself but she is begging me to never take her from her home. Now, today I just went with my mother-in-law who lives in Texas, to her doctor appointment and we are worried that she may have dementia. She is experiencing sites of people in her home at night but we know the people arent there because we have ensured that the screen and door is locked. But she feels that she is 100 percent sure that the people are there and that they are visiting her at night and taking her things. I feel like I am being hit with a double dose and I really need some advice. Thank you and God Bless You All!
cjh1203 responded:
I'm so sorry for all you're having to contend with. It's tough enough to deal with dementia in one family member, much less two. Being so far away makes it that much harder, I know.

I would suggest that you contact your local Alzheimer's Association and talk to them about your situation with both your mother and your mother-in-law. They should have resources that can provide you with more help, and suggestions for dealing with all that's going on.

In the meantime, please be sure you take good care of yourself. You have an enormous amount of stress in your life, so please do whatever you can to ease it even the slightest bit.

My heart goes out to you. I hope the Alzheimer's Association can give you the assistance you need.

Best regards,
createasmile replied to cjh1203's response:
Thank you so much for your advice and your concern. May God continue to Bless you and your family!
Judith L London, PhD responded:

What a situation you have from both sides. The Alzheimer's Assn. is definitely you best bet - 800-272-3900. Probably, you will need a firm diagnosis regarding both your mother and your mother-in-law. If it is definitely established that a dementing illness is causing their behavior, the earlier you step in, the better it will be. You may need to take legal steps to manage your mother's finances, and if your mother-in-law is in the early stages, involve her by stating that she will no longer have to worry about financial concerns when you help out with the bills if you step in.

As far as nursing homes, there are some very good memory care residences that know how to approach someone with these issues in a caring way. If you join a support group, even by phone or on line in the area where they live, you will get great suggestions about good places.

Do get some relief from the stress,

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