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Daddy's girl needs to learn how to best care for her Dad.
An_254831 posted:
Hello I'm 47 and my 75 yr. old Dad has Alzheimer's. He wont get tested since he is in very good health besides this heartbreaking disease. which he feels is normal old age memory loss. But it is not, his younger brother died 3 year ago after lying in a nursing home silent, child like , unable to speak or feed himself. Heartbreaking... I would be grateful for any and all advice on how I can be there for, him. Any experiences from some who knows the hardtimes to get him to tell his Dr. to test him. He is going to put my mother in the poor house from his "gambling-pulltabs "at the VFW, he drinks beer, always has but NEVER did he not support and love his family. This man is my idol. I would rather he have cancer [he would do what ever it took to beat it> i feel like I looking at my Dad but he is not there. Thank you for taking this time for me. Happy New Year and my wishes is for all to have a better 2014. Health and Happiness to you.
cjh1203 responded:
I'm so sorry about what your father and you are going through. It's extremely common for people who are exhibiting signs of Alzheimer's or other dementia to refuse to see a doctor about it. I imagine that they're so afraid of what they're going to hear that denial seems like a better choice.

If he hasn't been tested, are you sure that what he has is Alzheimer's? There are other conditions that can mimic Alzheimer's or have similar symptoms. Sometimes, it's something as simple as a urinary tract infection or reaction to a medication.

Maybe you could call his doctor, tell him/her your concerns and ask that the doctor's office call your father and tell him it's time for a regular checkup. If you wait for your father to approach your doctor and ask to be tested, it will probably never get done.

It would be a good idea for you to contact your local Alzheimer's Association and talk to someone there about your situation; joining one of their support groups would probably be very helpful to you.

When you say "i feel like I looking at my Dad but he is not there" you're describing the most heartbreaking part of the disease.

I hope you can get some help in getting your father diagnosed so he can begin treatment that may help him.

Please keep us posted.

Best wishes,
momrich responded:
It is heart-breaking to hear of your father's decline. Truly until he is evaluated will everyone know what he is dealing with.

My husband has agreed to be tested because he was told the neurologist would have some tricks to help him with his memory.
Now I've have to go back to the primary doc because, my husband's temper and irritation is more frequent--it is as though he has lost the breaks on those emotions. I've left the doc with the job of finding a way to make that needed medication something my husbands sees a benefit for taking it on a regular basis. Meanwhile I'm putting together an "escape plan" for I'm not staying in harms way!
Judith L London, PhD responded:

It's always a challenge when someone you love refuses to get medical input. Brainstorm any way to get him to see his doctor, preferably with you so that you can describe the changes you see. The Alzheimer's Assn. has some good suggestions (800-272-3900). The important thing to remember is that you are the person who is in tact, and, sadly, the person who shows signs of memory related problems does not perceive that anything is amiss. Rational thinking needs to prevail, as hard as it is when you are in this position. It is an act of love to find out what is wrong with him, albeit, tough love.

Sending you strength,

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