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) but I also get bad thoughts (i.e. people getting hurt or even worse), counting (I count letters in words forward and backwards and if I don't like the amount of letters in the words I either add letters to words or just add another 2 or 3 letter word, depending on how many letters are in each word- very confusing, I know) and the most bothersome symptom I have in music constantly going around in my head. I know it's common to get tunes stuck in your head but I don't get any relief from this symptom. It's not even a specific song. And if I don;t like the song I can go to another song but I try every single day to try and stop the music, to try and concentrate on the sound of a fan to see if that would help, but nothing. I have trouble falling asleep at night because of how distracting the music is. A few years ago I was on medication and several different meds, no relief from my symptoms, 20 lbs and a mental breakdown later (from being weaned off a medication too fast) here I am. I do not want to go on medication again because of the side effects and because they just didn't help me (I was on Anafranil, Risperedal, Paxil CR and I think 1 or 2 different meds). On occasion I also experience depression. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help getting rid of the music.
). I really don't have faith in medication right now, which is why I don't want to go on any. Plus, I have rheumatoid arthritis and I am on several meds for that right now, so I don't want to be taking 10 pills a day!!