I feel scared a lot---when I am alone, or what not. I lost my Dad two years ago--in home hospice--It was a traumatic experience because I saw him deteroriate and in the end---saw every detail of him becoming a vegetable. Eventually I saw him being zipped up in that black bag and taken out of our house. I was only 20 years old.
Aside from that--I have a boyfriend of 3 years and I am just petrified that I am going to lose him. I am also so close to my Mom--and I am scared that I am going to lose her. I cry a lot because I love them both and I don't want to lose them. I am just scared because I know how short life is. I don't know what's wrong with me. Is this anxiety, or depression or what? Any suggestions...
It is apparent that this traumatic experience has effected your life to the point of almost controlling it. I am deeply sorry for your loss as the death of anyone close is a stab to the mind and mentality. You can never forget but you can forge on as this is the key to a successful recovery. There are so many people in your shoes that have suffered a loss. It wasn't your fault, it was fate as death reeks havoc on numerous individuals. Reminisce about the good times you had and not the bad. Life works in mysterious ways sometimes as good people die young, yet the bad live forever. You mentioned a boyfriend of three years and a mother for whom you care for deeply. I am optimistic and doubtful that either will create a loss such that your beloved father has come too. Cherish and reminisce over the positive memories. Understand that everyone in life loses a close loved one so you are not alone. Prove to your dad that you have become a positive attribute to society and you will feel a sense of accomplishment and relief. My suggestion is to not fear life. If it is your time then it is your time. You question why life is so short, so why worry the whole time? Cherish the loved ones that are there for you and move on. It is just a matter of time until you shall recover.
This is definitely Anxiety and Panic disorder although i am not a M.D. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder. I am always thinking about dying, or people i love around me dying. I cry ALL the time. And when i say all i mean i at least cry once a day, if not more. if you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to email me. BrittFrknBz85@gmail.com hang in there
Youth and inexperience that was both upsetting and, unfortunately disturbing in its memory. Your dad was truly fortunate to be able to spend his final days at home and I am sure he appreciated the care and the love he received. For those of you in the home who cared for them, I know it was a difficult time, but please remember that you gave him an opportunity to be cared for by those who knew and loved him rather than professional medical staff who would have cared, but would not have been those he had loved over a lifetime.
After a loss like this, there is a natural tendency to be concerned about losing others you love and this may be part of the grieving process. If this is affecting your life and your ability to function, perhaps it might be a good idea to have an opportunity to discuss this with the mental health professional such as a psychologist.
Time will help you to see this in a new light and to realize that you have a great deal of life ahead of you.
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