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Doctor's just don't listen!!
CrazyBrain84 posted:
Ok, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety when I was 8 yrs old......I was put on medication but when I hit my teens I thought I knew everything and just stopped taking medicine and refused to go to the doctors. I am now 27 yrs old and set my whole life up to deal with my anxiety and panic disorder. I have a nice new car my husband bought for me but I do not drive it, ever, and the only time I get in any car is when I sit in the back seat and the child safety locks are on, in fear i'm going to go crazy or loose control of my mind and my body and jump out of the car or something crazy. I won't allow my self to ever be alone! I always have to have an adult in my presence in fear i'm going to harm myself or my kids or do something destructive. I do not want to hurt myself or my kids, or even have the urge to do anything like that, but, I have a fear that i'm going to loose my mind and do something bad. I do everything possible to make it so I don't have to be around people, which is weird cuz i'm afraid of being alone, so I dn't really understand that part, I just know when I do go the store with whoever is "chaperoning" me i get all panicky and anxious and end up having to leave the store. These are just a few example's of my anxiety. This anxiety is ruining my life and innconvienecing the life of the people around me. One of the worst part's about all of this is nobody knows anything about my anxiety. They don't know why I sit in the back seat, I usually just tell them I want to keep an eye on the baby...which has worked for a few years now seeing how I have three kids very close in age. When ever there is a time i'm going to be alone, I make up excuses that I either have to go with them or I need there help with something or what ever I can come up with. I am to scared to tell anyone how severe my anxiety is. I have tried therapy a few times with different therapists and they all say the same thing. They say my anxiety is not that bad and I do not need medication because I am still "functional"...because I still some how live a "normal" life...but to me, this is not normal, I live in a great amount of fear, anxiety, irrational thinking, one panic attack after the next, having panic attacks about having a panic attack. I live and survive an the behalf of other people that don't even know what's really going on in my crazy brain. I just don't know what to do...I can't explain to the doctor's any better than I already have that I have anxiety and it's ruining my life! Two yrs ago I decided to start self medicating myself.....poison of choice....alcohol.....! I have realized that drinking only makes everything worse in the long run but it's the only thing that seems to subside my anxiety for that day. I don't know what else to do. The doctor's won't listen to me and understand what I tell them. And even though I drink till I pass out every day, i'm still considered "functional" because I take good care of my kids, good care of my house, and from an outside view things look perfect. I have taught myself how to hide my anxiety so well that I can't even convince a doctor that it's real and as bad as it really is! I do not know what to do!
lexismom11 responded:
How long have you seen these therapists that claim you don't need antianxiety meds? It seems to me that you life is controlled by your anxiety and I don't see a reason not to try medication. Especially if you are having panic attacks. You have to try to open up some more and tell the doctors what it is really like for you just like you did here.

Have you seen a phychiatrist who might be able to prescribe medication for you?
The only issue I see being a problem is the use of alcohol to curb the anxiety. Unfortunately it seems as if you are headed in the wrong direction as far as using alcohol.

My advice is to keep trying to see a doctor who will listen to how bad the anxiety is. Also, stop drinking alcohol because you cannot mix alcohol with any of the antianxiety meds that may be prescribed to you. I know it is easier said than done because alcohol has been the only thing that helps you right now. I personally have learned this lesson and now I don't drink any alcohol because I don't want that to interfere with what my medications are meant to do for me.
dunk84 responded:
every person has there own remedy for there problems .drinking is not the just a nobody but i can tell u this ,it will only make things worse.maybe not not now but one day u will regret advice is to exercise ALOT,talk to your friends,and realize what your experiencing is very common.these tips work depending on how devoted u are to defeating this problem.
Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
Individuals who have developed chronic use of alcohol on a daily basis and who still manage to function are still alcoholics. Unfortunately, as you indicate, people are unable to see that because you are doing all the things that are required of you. But, as you also indicated, you are in pain and desperate for help and no one seems to appreciate the severity of the situation.

I don't know what type of therapists you have been seeing, but it would seem to me that the treatment plans they offered didn't appear to meet your need or you wouldn't have left. As I see it, you need to work with someone who is a psychologist who works with individuals who suffer from panic disorder and alcohol abuse. This requires special expertise and I would urge you to seek out someone with whom you can work. You may also require medication, but that has to be determined after you have an evaluation with this psychologist.

Your anxiety is interfering with your life and I cannot imagine that the people in your life would be incapable of seeing through the "excuses" that you are making for the behaviors in which you are engaging. One example, of course, is that you have the new car and you can't drive. Another is that you always have to sit in the backseat of the car. I'm sure there are many other things that show how serious your anxiety is and how much it controls your life.

Please get a referral for someone with the needed expertise and begin to work with them. I'm sure they will refer you for a medication referral if that is needed. I know you are struggling and I know you feel like no one is listening, but we are.
deez247 responded:
Hi Momma. You sound like a very nice person. It sounds like you know what you do not like about your life, and you can certainly verbalize your situation. It is awesome that you are able to get through your day-to-day stuff and be "functional", many people with anxiety cant do that. But you also deserve "quality of life". This is what was explained to me by my doctor which made me decide to try medication. I could "get through" my life... but the kids will only be small for so long, and it is not fair to you or them that you should miss out on experiencing the joy of their younger years. It must be very hard taking care of your home, job and kids when feeling so anxious and scared. You certainly have a hidden strength and energy to be able to do that, that you are not recognizing... I know that drinking may seem like a relief from your symptoms, but it is a behaviour that you can not you know, over time this will not be effective. I'm sure you just feel desparate. You sound like a smart woman. It also sounds like you have a lot of people around you.... you have so many positive ingredients to turn this around!!! Sounds like you have been to some bad doctors, or perhaps you are having difficulty expressing your problem to them. I would suggest getting a new referral, and printing your post to take along. YOU are the judge of the quality of your life, and you deserve to feel better. Hope this helps, and is not preachy... You are such a young person, with the makings of an amazing life!! I am doing it now at 40, and wish I had someone tell me this in my 20s... Please let us know how it works out for you. Best of luck
echos4evr responded:
I believe you are suffering from OCD Pure because I have suffered from it since age 12. I couldn't get a doctor to listen to me either, and I started seeing Psychiatrists when I was 18. I thought I was loosing my mind, the horrible thoughts and ruminations to try to prove them untrue made me want to die. I was told I had a scholarship to college and should be happy and was given an ineffective anti-depressant and told all was well. I made a grave mistake and started drinking, I had never been drunk in my life but the first time I got drunk the thoughts finally ceased. I began to drink to ease my brain. Then once through school professionals wanted to treat me for alcoholism and I was basically told that since I drank that was my major problem.

I spent the next 18 years not drinking, not being treated for my anxiety/OCD Pure problem and being told I was just a hideously defective person in one AA meeting after another. The professionals won't take no for an answer on alcohol treatment and AA if you continue to drink to sooth your anxiety and AA people will make sure to tell you continuously that any anxiety you suffer is because you are not doing the program correctly. If you ever want real treatment for your real issue DO NOT DRINK, that results in a label forever medical professionals being unwilling to EVER treat your anxiety issues. I did, fortunately get help in the form of psychological counseling and finally (much needed) anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication, but I suffered many years before taking that step. I required both counseling and medication to get back to feeling fully alive.
jenncruse responded:
Okay, first of all take a deep breath!!! I know how you feel and I've been dealing with this all my life by myself because nobody around me understood. Honestly, the best thing I can advise to start you in the right direction is this....stop drinking, it will lead to worse things when you self med. 2 Get a new dr now! Don't say I'll think about it, you just need to do it.3 go to your local mh dept, talk to a counselor about getting into group therapy...this is the best thing in the world!! these are the people who understand you because they are going through the exact same thing. 4. go to aa meetings, this will also offer great support when you are frustrated and need to let it out. I got more. Write me back sometime, I'll tell you all ab out me.
echos4evr replied to jenncruse's response:

AA meetings will NOT help with anxiety disorders. AA is only for alcohol and any other mental health issue they try to convince you is just part of the "alcoholic mind". I have been sober in AA for over 18 years and have learned better than to discuss my anxiety problems in that forum. I have also heard many "old timers" tell people they aren't sober if they take medications for mental health problems. If you want support for a mental health issue, AA is NOT the place to get it.
bigdttu responded:
I would really like to talk to you.... If I could explain what's going on with me, that would be it. I love how so many people focus on the alcohol use and suggest "just" find another person to help you. I agree that alcohol is not the answer, but I understand the temporary relief... trust me! I have been battling anxiety attacks/panic for approx ten years. My mother was killed by an alcoholic, and I started suffering soon after. I have a lot of trouble traveling places, definetly have a "comfort zone", but label myself an agoraphobic. I have been married for 2.5 years, have a 14 month old, and one on the way. Sometimes I forget I have such a problem, because when I can make it to work or drive somewhere without really panicking, I feel! But I know i'm not free. I would love to travel, take my family places and do stuff, but this disease has limited my life on sooo many levels, it's sad. I have a little over a year sober, but still at times want to reach for some quick fix from a bottle. I know it won't help in the long run, and even the next day creates anxiety with the guilt and shame. I have talked to a counselor before, but really only focused on the alcohol abuse. I want to meet and talk with people about how to treat this awful disease. I was explaining this once to my wife. I told her it was so severe, that I would gladly have my legs removed from my body if my anxiety/panic would disappear. And I am not kidding. I know God has a plan for my life. But right now I am struggling and feel like this will never end. I hope you get this message and reply.
maxfruster responded:
I think you should give yourself "credit" for dealing with life, to the extent to which you have! Also, because you "are" keeping all of your "full-plates" still "spinning and catching (most of them), in the air" the therapists you have seen, probably do not see the problem as "dire" but, (but!), you know yourself better than "any other person on earth," you know how you feel, you know you "do" panic; in fact, you even know that you "feed into" panic-attacks and "have more!" So, what could you possibly "act on" to give yourself a "break" from the fear of another attack, from the anxiety of your fears? If you think about it, the fear fuels an attack and your fuel "is" anxiety because it is like a mild-fear. First off, is there "any" possibility you 'could' ask a "longtime friend" or "relative you trust" to accompany you (begin with seconds, then "step-up" the time spent), "outside your home," to a "safe" place, an enjoyable place (a park where children are playing, or a peaceful-area without many around)? And, if you do "not have someone to trust, to trust "in" with your anxiety, fear and attacks, think about persons who are "approachable," whom you "might" trust. "Counselors"? There are persons who "act as" counselors every day, having experienced "decades of life." You are online now; seek a support-group(never meet in-person!): certainly you'll find one! When the "doctors don't listen" your "trusted-persons" will allow you to "explain it to them." Your "trusted-persons" will "be willing to" listen to the 100s or 1000s of times it takes for you to re-tell your story: that is "why" you trust them. It makes no diff. if they are "paid couselors" or "clerks," if they "only" take some of "your" fear's edge, and "just" listen!
An_246674 responded:
I didn't grow up like this, for me it exploded out of me when some other mental health issues came forward. Your description of the anxiety is EXACTLY how I feel. I am a few years down the road and am now considered disabled by the Social Security Administration, which is practically impossible to get for mental illnesses.

Anyway, I know this will seem unrelated, but the point is the same. In my mid 20's my joints started to scream in pain whenever I did anything but lay down. I was not used to this having grown up swimming about 6 miles a day. I happened to have a family friend as my doctor who pulled strings and got me in to see a specialist who diagnosed me with severe fibromyalgia (they still don't know why, it lasted for 6-7 years and then one day it was gone). Anyway, I have 2 uncles and an Aunt that are all doctors. Not one of them believed I was really sick.

When we are sick the only real advocate you have is yourself. When my life exploded with mental illness a few years ago, I didn't know what to do and made a lot of mistakes. What worked for me was finding a good psychiatrist (the Dr's that give meds) I went through 3 of them until I found the one I could be honest with and get advice beyond normal meds. Then I asked different Therapist group offices what their group specializes in. I got advice from every doc I had ever seen about what type of therapy I needed. (There are as many different kinds of herapy as there are therapists) Then I went and talked to a few therapists to see who I felt a bond with - Seriously it makes a Gigantic difference! That therapist decided she wanted to have me also work with a different specialist therapist as well. I am finally feeling occasional peace for the first time in years. Just keep at it. You know what you need, just fight until you get it. You really are worth it. I did it for my kids at times I couldn't do it for myself. Find something everyday, hour, minute, week or whatever to cling to in order to keep you moving forward and not stagnating. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!
sickofsick52 responded:
drinking is the worst thing for anixity. STOP IT NOW you're kids need a sober mom. You need to see a mental health dr and you need to start finding a med that will control this. I have it severely but I have no fear of any kind although my body stays in fear mode. You need professional help. I used to enjoy a drink once in awhile. Now, it only makes me sick. dont' do it. You are only killing you're brain cells & you're liver. You'll die young & leave your're kids with no Mom. Which is more important, you're kids or you're next drink?

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