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Nervous Breakdown support
An_243838 posted:
My husband had a nervous breakdown about 6-8 weeks ago. He has been going back and forth with his medical doctor trying to get meds that work for him straight. He is not seeking counseling. As his wife I am trying desperately to be patient and I know this is a long healing process. My question is when do I stop being "patient" and start to give some nudges to push him to seek counseling and get his meds straight and get a new job (the job is what caused the breakdown). He takes one step forward and then two steps back. Again, i know I need to be patient. But at times it also seems maybe he is comfortable in the extra care and attention he is getting from it. where do I say, get off the pittypot and do something for yourself. I dont want to push to early, but the whole situation is very tough on our marriage and I want my husband back. I miss him.
mr2141 responded:
The time it takes to recover from a nervous breakdown is different for everybody. I was told once that its like a car blowing a gasket. It will never be the same after that. Only patience and understanding will get him back. He really needs to get on the right medication, it will make a world of difference. This takes time. you do need to enforce the idea that his recovery depends mostly on his willingness to get better, first for him and secondly for his family. There really isnt a time frame on when you will get him back, but keep encouraging him that he can do it and he will.
Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
I'm sorry to hear that your husband had such a difficult time at his prior job that it resulted in his having, I would assume, a major depressive episode. Although you've indicated that he's going to his PCP to get meds, I'm wondering if this is the course he should be pursuing. Psychotropic medications often require a bit more knowledge than the PCP can bring to the situation and this needs to be considered.

The other point that needs to be considered is psychotherapy both for him as an individual and for the 2 of you as a couple. He may not wish to go to counseling for himself, but he is not alone in this situation and it is something that the 2 of you need to work on together. Depression is a terrible illness and it is probably one of the most serious illnesses we have in the country today. It robs people of their personalities and causes an ordinate amounts of problems in family situations. Yes, it is a very difficult situation for the person who is depressed and for anyone who comes into contact with them and it can place extreme strain on the relationship.

As I've said, it's something that must be worked on by the 2 of you because you deserve help too. Things won't change overnight and he won't be able to look for a job immediately, I would assume. It will take time and, in the interim, he probably should be applying for some type of disability benefits.

I hope the 2 of you will work together on this so that there can be a good resolution.

Dr. Farrell

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