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An_243874 posted:
Maybe someone can help me? I just started sleeping with my boyfriend and he has a panic attack after. I realy like sleeping with him but I don't know if I am doing something wrong, is this ever going to go away(like maybe wend we've been togetter longer)? Is there any thing I can do to help him? He try to break up with me after the last one. We've talking again, but I don't know what to do.
ane21 responded:
I suffer from panic attacks not for the same reason but more or less so I can give you some advice to help him as your girlfriend. First of all, he doesn't want to break up with you because of you but because of this problem, because he probably feels he doesn't worth nothing and that he doesn't want to make his problem yours. However, if he breaks up with you he is going to feel really miserable as he would think that this problem is making go away the person he loves. You asked if is this ever going to go away and the answer is it depends. If the panic attacks he suffer are because he feels nervous, uncomfortable or whatever because of sleeping with you, then they will tend to disappear. So I think it would be a great idea trying to talk with him about it, but don't pressure him to tell you. And secondly, whenever you talk about this the best thing you can do is just listen to him, don't try to understand why is this happening because it will drive you mad. It is very hard for everyone that goes through this but in this case I can imagine that for him it could be worse to accept it because he might feel like he is not a real man. Well that is what I think, I really hope it helps you and your boyfriend! Sorry for my spelling mistakes, I am from Spain:) If you need anymore advice I will be glad to help you.
happykca replied to ane21's response:
Thank you for your help, but he broke up with me again. I guess it wasn't ment to be.
Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
I believe this is something that the two of you need to discuss openly. His panic is not related, I believe, to anything you've done, but may be something he experiences in intimate or stressful situations. Talk to him.

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