I had my first anxiety attack after going to college for 4 years. I'll admit, I switched my major quite a few times so yes, there seems to be no end in sight.
I was working full time in a high stress sales environment and taking a full course load including a demanding Anatomy and Physiology course.
I'm not from this area so I don't have very many friends and literally no family here. I worked a 12 hour day, came home to study and clean, took Excedrin to relieve a headache and it hit me.
I couldn't get my heartrate down, I was dizzy, I could feel my pulse riveting my entire body. I was cold but I was hot; I couldn't get comfortable.
I had never had any panic attacks before but I was always fearful of things. For instance, I never get in the car without driving and I wouldn't dare fly.
I have a family medical history of heart conditions including mitro valve perlapse and teccacardiac arithmia or however it's spelled.
I thought OMG I'm having a heart attack at 22.
I'm 24 now and I've had a few "close calls" but never anything close to what I experienced that day. However, I've completely changed my life FOR THE WORSE! I don't have any caffeine, I read every food label for sugar and, if it has it, I don't eat it. I barely eat carbohydrates and, for the most part, live off of proteins, and the occasional carbs I work myself up to eat. I also changed my job which is a lot less stress but I'm making much less money and I'm not going to school anymore which is the worst part of all.
I'm terrified to take medications because I've been seemingly avoiding anxiety attacks which is great, right? I can't live this way, can I?
I can't go on vacations, I haven't been intimate with my boyfriend of over a year, and any changes in my life leave me spinning and begging for normalcy, even if it's positive changes.
How do I go on? I read up on all the side affects and warnings of medications and that seems less encouraging than just living in my normal state. I currently see a therapist and she helps me shrink the length of my panic attacks but I still haven't made any huge improvements. I know there must be others out there like me but I feel like I'm an extreme case.
I think I have SAD, bipolar disorder, and panic disorder. Where do I go from here?