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Panic attacks
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teseya posted:
My son is 27 now and gets fear, panic, anxiety attacks. At age 9 his dad asked him if (dad) should leave or stay... age 16 his dad had a (conversation) stating he was no good, worthless, never about to anything... I found him on the concrete floor curled in a fettle position and crying... life has never been the same for him. He has been picked on by bullies, pushed shoved, feet stomped on, ear cut.. etc.. I could go on .. Dad drank.. anyway. He has had several therapists. He has an anger issue only once in a while now.
He has never had a real job, he wants to get out on his own and start his life but the attacks keep him down. He actually was going to pack his car and go to a state where we use to live. His brother lives there but no extra room. He want to find a place to live, go to school and get a job. But he is stuck in a bundle of anxiety. I do not know how to help him. He actually made a date to leave, but when I pulled up hotels, which he was not doing... he was lost.. his mind started turning and he lost all the color in his face and actually made himself sick! Please any help at all!! Thank you!
2 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Panic attacksMy son is 27 now and gets fear, panic, anxiety attacks. At age 9 his dad asked him if (dad) should leave or stay... age 16 his dad had a (conversation) stating he was no good, worthless, never about to anything... I found him on the concrete floor curled in a fettle position and crying... life has never been the same for him. He has been picked on by bullies, pushed shoved, feet stomped on, ear cut.. etc.. I could go on .. Dad drank.. anyway. He has had several therapists. He has an anger issue only once in a while now. <br />He has never had a real job, he wants to get out on his own and start his life but the attacks keep him down. He actually was going to pack his car and go to a state where we use to live. His brother lives there but no extra room. He want to find a place to live, go to school and get a job. But he is stuck in a bundle of anxiety. I do not know how to help him. He actually made a date to leave, but when I pulled up hotels, which he was not doing... he was lost.. his mind started turning and he lost all the color in his face and actually made himself sick! Please any help at all!! Thank you!
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zmonkey responded:
I am 27 years old and suffer from chronic anxiety. One of the things that I have found most helpful in my life have been my mom, dad , and sister. Their support, both financial and emotional, has allowed me to finish school and get a job despite my illness. You seem to care a lot about your son which is great. However, you also seem to baby him. The three things you listed won't cause a child to act out unless you start babying him and allowing him to act out. Either way he is 27. The no job is unacceptable and further goes to show how you let him manipulate you. I know it's tough to see your kids in distress but sometimes you have to show him tough love or he won't get things like paying rent or food. And what is he going to do if, go forbid, you get sick. I am sorry I seem to approach it this way and this is just my opinion. I thought my parents babied me and they would throw me out on my ass in a second if I didn't pay for my stuff. Again, I just give you this perspective because he CAN work but he doesn't want to.

Is he on any medication?
Has he looked for a job?
Has he finished school?
Does he have a girlfriend or a social life?
What does he do in his spare time?
How does he treat you? ( does he respect you?)
Does he clean his room?
Did he abuse drugs?

These are questions your therapist should be addressing.
Report This| Share this:Panic attacksI am 27 years old and suffer from chronic anxiety. One of the things that I have found most helpful in my life have been my mom, dad , and sister. Their support, both financial and emotional, has allowed me to finish school and get a job despite my illness. You seem to care a lot about your son which is great. However, you also seem to baby him. The three things you listed won't cause a child to act out unless you start babying him and allowing him to act out. Either way he is 27. The no job is unacceptable and further goes to show how you let him manipulate you. I know it's tough to see your kids in distress but sometimes you have to show him tough love or he won't get things like paying rent or food. And what is he going to do if, go forbid, you get sick. I am sorry I seem to approach it this way and this is just my opinion. I thought my parents babied me and they would throw me out on my ass in a second if I didn't pay for my stuff. Again, I just give you this perspective because he CAN work but he doesn't want to. <br /><br />Is he on any medication?<br />Has he looked for a job?<br />Has he finished school?<br />Does he have a girlfriend or a social life?<br />What does he do in his spare time?<br />How does he treat you? ( does he respect you?)<br />Does he clean his room?<br />Did he abuse drugs?<br /><br />These are questions your therapist should be addressing.
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Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
Your description of what had happened to your son over the years does explain how he feels now and the reason that he is not only anxious, but probably lacking in self-confidence as well.#next_pages_container { width: 5px; hight: 5px; position: absolute; top: -100px; left: -100px; z-index: 2147483647 !important; }

You indicated he has had several therapists, and I'm wondering why none of them was able to help him begin his journey toward independence and confidence. Perhaps he chose individuals who were not up to the task, that sometimes happens, or he dropped out of therapy prior to achieving the goals that he and the therapist had set for him.

Therapy can only work if the 2 people agree on the goals, the person practices everything that he learns in therapy and, most important of all, he is working with an experienced therapist who has the skills to help him. On my website, I do have a page entitled Therapy and I would suggest that you look at it.

It will take some time, but with the right type of help he will be able to make moves in a positive direction.

Dr. Farrell
Report This| Share this:Panic attacksYour description of what had happened to your son over the years does explain how he feels now and the reason that he is not only anxious, but probably lacking in self-confidence as well.#next_pages_container { width: 5px; hight: 5px; position: absolute; top: -100px; left: -100px; z-index: 2147483647 !important; } <br /><br />You indicated he has had several therapists, and I'm wondering why none of them was able to help him begin his journey toward independence and confidence. Perhaps he chose individuals who were not up to the task, that sometimes happens, or he dropped out of therapy prior to achieving the goals that he and the therapist had set for him. <br /><br />Therapy can only work if the 2 people agree on the goals, the person practices everything that he learns in therapy and, most important of all, he is working with an experienced therapist who has the skills to help him. On my website, I do have a page entitled Therapy and I would suggest that you look at it.<br /><br />It will take some time, but with the right type of help he will be able to make moves in a positive direction.<br /><br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.drfarrell.net">Dr. Farrell</a>
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