Hello,
I am 23 years old and have had two abortions within 6 moths between the two. My life hasn't been playing out as I have hoped , and I find it very difficult to cope with anything right now. Growing up with an alcoholic mother and an abusive father, didn't prepare me or gave me a guidence in life. Instead I was driven out of my country towards another where I had to educate my self on the streets of london doing whatever I had to do to survive. Finding a man who could take care of me was a hope of mine, and when I did found someone, it turned out that he wasn't just my boyfriend for 5 years after we meet. He was the guy who took all my founds that I have earned with regards for our future's sake. He also driven me into becoming a 'working girl' for the same sake of course, which is a better life for us. Pushing me from one to another I have found someone who actually showed me respect , care , and ... love ...
Being with the new guy for two years, who had gave me few balls of soup, took me to some countries and introduced me to a lonlier life ( because of course jelousy, I am 23 he is 40-something , he has children, someone he lives with, and i got pregnant once, and twice, of course when love is blind you go with the advice of your loved one and believe tht there will be a future somewhere in the near future and that when there'll be a base with some moths of us living together, than we can accept the new born but until then let's just forget it shall we? let's just live life like that. I am actually going crazy here on my own without any friends or anybody to talk to just me and the massive guilt that presses me . I could go on and on for many hours telling people about the misserable life that I have lived to this very moment, but there isn't enough characters . I am lost , completely . Shall I mention that the ex has come back as I think he had ran out of founds and needs his donkey back to work?! aw how silly of me... he blackmails me . if I am not longer to be his ATM, then I won't be with anyone else! lol ! any medicines for that? anyone?