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What disorder is it when you 'copy' other peoples lives??
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Anon_6167 posted:
I know someone who seams to 'copy' others in a way that just isn't 'right'. thru the years has "molded" to the people around her , like: she grew up w/ ADHD and anxiety, but the more people she meets the more she takes on their issues. She met gay people - thought they were soo cool , became bi-sexual and dated girls and boys - met more people ,the like, online (good old tumbler) then later decided she was full lesbian. then later on knew of a friend of a friend who was schizophrenic , read up on it and swore she was, then met someone who was 'cutting' looked it up online and started 'cutting' (over now) then met someone (online) who was transgender - yup - now she wants to be a 'he'. she's ready for male hormones and getting breast surgery already after not even 7months of feeling like this. It is very scary and hard to get on board with all this, she gets very angry and hurt when no one agrees with her choices. She is in school and has everyone calling her a boys name but cant handle the family not being able to because they have known her all these years as a girl, maybe a tomboy (but not that much).
Each thing seams to go away and then some new issue comes up , every 6 months to a year. 'She' never really had any signs of being transgender growing up to point to anything definitive but she ,looks for things that could be associated with her recent issues, to justify it. Obviously she doesn't 'see' this as being what she's acting like - but others see it. I cant get on the band wagon with the 'new' thing - . HELP PLEASE- any insight would be appreciated!
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rohvannyn responded:
Transference is what pops into my head but hopefully more knowledgable heads will prevail. I find it interesting how you word it. She was cutting, claimed to be schizophrenic, went lesbian, etc, and now that she is transgender... that's when you draw the line. It's just interesting.

I've had friends and one longterm lover who were transgender, with a few gender dysphoria issues myself, and I can tell you truly that seven months isn't enough time to make a life decision like that unless it's something you have been thinking about for a long time but never have dared to talk about. Gender dysphoria is a VERY serious matter and extremely difficult to live with, treated or untreated. The feeling of living in the wrong body is absolutely horrendous. Usually you know it if you have it. It's important to be sure though and difficult to tell with a case like this, when someone might just think gender dysphoria is something you can just 'pick up.' It's not..

There are a few signs that can be seen in childhood, but some people get indoctrinated into behaving in hypermasculine (for boys) or hyperfemininne (for girls) ways. Many people are so threatened by someone who wants to change thier sex that it can be quite dangerous for the person. Death threats, rapes, and beatings are common for many transfolk. It is not a decision that is made, usually, but rather a deep need and a realization that you are not living in the way you were meant to be. What happens to a little girl who always wanted to grow up and be a father? Or a little boy who loves to cook and sew and is gentle, but everybody tells him he has to be tough? When inside he really feels like a little girl? There actually is a difference in brain structure, it's not just behavioral.

Sorry for writing a novel here but there is so much to say and so much important information that most people just don't have access to. If you have questions or if something didn't make sense, let me know. I'm happy to share.

Your friend may be trying to get attention, or have some other issues, but if she really is dypshoric then you should be kind and as understanding as you know how to be. If she turns out to be serious and really does have this issue, please respect her decision. You may be saving a life.
 
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Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
I can understand your wish to be a helpful friend and I can see your concern as well as the young woman's reluctance to listen to other's opinions on this matter.

I just responded to your post, but it appears it didn't post after all. Should it pop up, understand that I didn't mean to duplicate my responses.

There is a code of ethics in healthcare professions and that code does not condone any treatments without adequate consideration of the reasons for it as well as the consequences and if it is in the best interest of the patient. Any surgeon who would be approached to do "top" surgery on a healthy woman who has, rather suddenly, decided she wants sexual reassignment surgery would first have a psychological evaluation for the woman and then there would be extended discussions.

I know you want to help. The surgeon may be the one who ultimately provides that help, but not in the way of surgery.


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