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My mom gets me so ANGRY
An_249488 posted:
I just don't know what to do. It's the worst feeling being the only child to a single parent and hate her cause there is no other family member to talk to. I don't know how to calm down, because she is always saying something that upsets me. Either she says something stupid or she doesn't know she is saying something that angers me. Her comments drive me crazy. When I was younger I was phsically violent because of that but as an ADULT I'm finding myself a hairs way every time she pushes that button to break something.
Whats even worse is that I had some personally damaging things happen to me this year and I was forced to move in with her. I don't have my own room and I live in the living room so there is no way getting away from her.
Does anyone have advice?
Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
I can see that it would be a very difficult situation for both of you and it would seem the solution would be to get a third party to help. I'm thinking about family counseling to help both of you through what must be a difficult time right now.
clipper1956 replied to JTK4ever's response:
What in the world made you think this person was spoiled by a single parent? That is the hardest role to play as a parent, I've done it twice not by choice but by THE choice of a bad partner whom I've learned now was from my childhood upbringing by counseling. The children suffer sometimes from this situation and you unlearned to comment as such. Study a little more on therapy situations such as these so you can be more profitable to a conversation situation instead of mental verbal puffery.
clipper1956 responded:
I'm in the same situation as your mom. Try your best to chose love and understanding for her and don't have resentment, she raised you alone and she did the best she could because none of you young-un's come with instructions and most of us mom's do the best we can. My 14 year old is acting out from her dad not being around anymore, it happens, but we all have to realize change is not easily welcomed and at this moment is hurts but in the next moment seize positive actions to her and try to be more independant and don't overreact to every emotion you have. Yes we mom's can push buttons and you kids can push buttons but life is all about getting along in every relationship with give and take because your first relationship is the first one to learn to do better from for your adulthood. Good Luck and don't ever give up loving!
rohvannyn responded:
I don't agree with the idea that an only child must neccessarily be spoiled, but I do agree with the idea that getting out of there as soon as possible is best. Also, you don't have to put up with bad treatment. Knowing that you have the option of taking a breath, hten calmly saying that this behavior hurts you and you won't put up with it might help you feel a little more in control and thus, less angry. Good luck. I completely understand what it's like to be stuck depending on someone else's kindness, it's a huge pain and it can be a big hit to your self esteem too. I hope things get better for you.
rohvannyn replied to JTK4ever's response:
Quick note to JTK4ever : while you make some good points, it might be helpful to understand just how hard it is to get a job or even find a place in a shelter. Living on the street is rather hazardous too, especially at this time of year. I've done it. However, I agree that it might at times be preferable to living in an untenable position.

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