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    Am I going crazy!
    Anthonysmama posted:
    Hello everyone,

    In 2009 I had my first child. When he was 6 months old I started feeling like I was so anxious and it was a bad feeling that I couldnt shake and nothing I did calmed me down. People would say "Oh stop thinking about it" Ugh easier said then done! I dont even know what I am worried about! I am worried about now the future dying my son hating me! But most of all I am afraid of going crazy, I get irrational thoughts and think what if I ever hurt myself or others. But in the same sence one of my biggest fears is death! I then went to my doctor and he put me on something called Cipralex I have been on them for 3 years now and it seemed to get better Definetly not gone but better. Well in the last few weeks it has gotten really bad again. I feel like my mind will not relax but yet i dont know what i am worried or scared of. Someone once told me people that are crazy arent scared of going crazy they think what there doing is normal! It seems that I know all the right things to tell myself I can preach it all day long but when it comes to myself i cant shake my feelings. I just dont know what to do anymore!
    Patricia Farrell, PhD responded:
    Your indication that your symptoms started when your first child was six months old would lead me to believe that you may have been having some type of postpartum reaction. I don't know how many children you have at this point, but this type of reaction can sometimes increase in frequency and remain more constant with each birth.

    I'm not an MD, but it does seem that you should have a medical check up as the first step. At this checkup you can explain how this medication is not helping as it had in the past. I would think that there might be a possibility that you are experiencing a buildup of stress and that you may not have sufficient opportunities to have some time for yourself. Also, you may need to have something that gives you a sense of enjoyment outside of taking care of your children and your home and this might be helpful too.

    I'm not sure if you also have an opportunity to have any type of exercise, but that would be helpful. I'm not talking about exercise of the nature of taking care of the kids or the home, but something that might get you out of the home and in the company of some adults. Give all of this some thought.

    In the meantime, why not begin to use relaxation breathing. We have a video tutorial of this in our Tips column.
    Gilpinben123 responded:
    Hello I know excactly how you feel, about a year and a half ago I had my first hit with all this horrible stuff, I have broke down many times trying to figure stuff out but i cannot seem to shake my feelings, the physical feelings were the feelings that worried me the most in the past but now I have learned to live with them feelings as they are my body's natural way of dealing with things when I feel worried or threatened, but the thing is is that it is me that's causing these threats. I have been weeks before going over mental ilnesses telling myself I have that I have that, and harmful thoughts of harming myself and others and it all gets to me so bad. . I really fear going crazy, having a mental illness . I fear hurting myself and others, yet like you I fear death I have come a long way with everything but these 2 thoughts I hate but cannot get off my mind for the life of me it's so annoying. But yeah your not alone.
    Gilpinben123 responded:
    Hello I have delt with the excact same feelings as you, except I don't have kids. .i fear going crazy and a mental illness . I fear harming myself or others yet I fear death I have delt with my problems for about a year and a half now and have come along way dealing with how I feel, the physical symtoms of panic attack ect, was the thing that got me and worried me the most in the past, but I have learned that that is a natural feeling from the body when it feels threatend or scared, but the thing is is that it's me that puts myself in this state, it's all a snow ball effect. I have come a long way but the two thoughts I hate the most I fear we happen so much that I feel I cannot cope, yet some weeks I feel great and back to my old self again then it hits out of no where it's horrible, but just to let you know your not alone.

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