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work related anxiey
def123456 posted:
It started about a year ago, but I did not know this was anxiety attacks.Now since around January I have connected the dots and know this is what is going on. For the last month and a half it's been really hard . It started when my boss retired. She was a really a great boss. The person that took her place is, just the opposite. About a week or so working with her, she never had a meeting with me on how things were going to change, or if they were going to change. So, I thought that I just continue on what I was doing. Well, an employee put something on my desk and my old boss always took care of that paperwork, I took it to my new boss office. She wasn't there so I left it on her desk. Then 10 minutes later she came in my office and closed the door. She stood in front of my desk and pounded her fist saying"I am going to get rid of you" she started yelling about me putting the paperwork on her desk. I tried to say I didn't know if I was suppose to take care of it or not. I could not say anything. Before this "meeting" was over she had pounded on my desk saying the same thing 3 times. Me not liking yelling or this kind of action, I turned my face away from her, I was starting to cry. I didn't want her to see me crying. She just left saying nothing else. I didn't want this to be the way our work relationship to begin, so the next day I sent her an e-mail and asked if we could have a meeting. I went to her office, I started out by saying that I was sorry about putting the paperwork on her desk without asking. We talked, she stated that she had more important things to do then tell me at this time what she expected from me. She never stated to me that she was sorry how she acted or for pounding on my desk. So, when the meeting was over I felt kind of disappointed that she did not say anything about her actions. So,to make a long story shorter, I was having signs of anxiety attacks, me not knowing anything about anxiety, BUT since January the signs of anxiety have increased. Telling my friends and family what I was feelings, the things I was experiencing, they were the ones that said it's"anxiety attacks". Since January I have made a few mistakes at work, the boss being herself wrote me up. I have never been written up in any job with being 58 years old, this was new to me.. This was on Wednesday of last week and with yesterday being Thursday of the following week, she pulls me into her office and puts me on a 2 days suspension without pay. She stated next step is termination. I now know that what I am going thru is work related or shall I say boss related anxiety attacks.
In the last couple of months I would have an anxiety attack when I saw that she was calling me or sending me an e-mail or come into my office. BUT my worry now is that if she fires me I will have no income coming in, I will be homeless. I am now having attacks about losing my job..There have been many times since last July that she has treated me unfairly. She snaps at me anytime I try to talk with her. I just don't know what to do. I have started to look for a new job but I have been at this job for 7 years now. We don't have a HR department at work and the owners don't want to be bothered with work related issues with their employees. So, my question is what do I do? I have my first doctors appointment today to go over this with him..But what power if any do I have. There isn't anyone to go to at work,,Please help me, I can't be without a income...thank you

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