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Going Blank
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Frank1958 posted:
I am a 55 year old man who has for the best part of the past 30 years found myself very lonely and depressed. I try desperately to make friends and when I first meet someone I am good to talk for a little bit but it seems the longer I know someone the harder it becomes for me to talk with them. I watch people enviously as they spend hours is comfortable easy conversation but and I cant for the life of me figure out how they do it. I can recount a few things about the day or about something that has happened but people quickly get bored with me. I see their eyes wondering around to find others, excusingthemselves in the middle of my sentence. I can see the akawardness and discomfort in them. When someone else comes over their attention turns to them no matter what I am saying ... and it hurts... then I also find that my mind goes blank. I can't think of anything to say... People I care deeply for and love and that I know love me as well are just not comfortable around me and so I end up alone... and it has been for so many years and I am soooo tierd of it... and don't know what to do anymore.... What is wrong with me....????? !!!!!
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rohvannyn responded:
I can relate. It's tough when other people don't get what you are saying, and when you have communication troubles that's even worse. I have a problem sometimes where I don't inflect right when I speak, or I use the wrong intonation. It muddies the waters and totally ruins the communication. Consequently, people get the wrong idea about what I say, I get embarrassed and retreat, and communication stops. I wonder if you are experiencing the same thing?

You seem quite intelligent and articulate. Perhaps speaking to someone who is a behaviorist, or studying the subject, might help? Or reading books on effective communication?

Thanks for being here. I wish you the best.
 
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Frank1958 replied to rohvannyn's response:
Thank you Rohvannyn
it is good to share with an understanding person. I apreciate your suggestions and hope that we can both work through these issues. I feel we have a lot to offer to others and this world and to have this block or missunderstanding hinder and keep us apart would be a terrible waste. Be well and I wish you the best.


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