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Please help! I am losing it.
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raidersblondie posted:
I really hope this makes sense. I am not shy but lately I have been feeling scared and distant (it has not stopped me from doing what I have to do) I do think about it though. I keep feeling really anxious for no reason and edgy and like I am losing my reality. An example: I am calling bingo and the number say N 44 will come and as I say it I think of some weird familiar sort of de cha vue kinda and it puts me in a weird scary mind skippage trance like feeling although no one would no cause I don't stop it just happened as I was typing the example and it litterally feels like my brain is stuck but its a familiar weird feeling and it is scary and I think I am going crazy, I can't seem to stop it and when I dwell on it like now it gets worse and more frequent. I have recently had a few days where they were (the weirdness feelings and strange spells were very few if not at all) I'm so scared because it just feels wrong and I re-search and re-search over and over and of couse I feel like my symptoms are not exactlly like everyone else so I don't buy the axniety and depersonalization & derealization because I am losint it! Why would I have an onset of anxiety now when I have been fine for 48 years? How can I have an attack if it is just me watching tv and nothing else is going on. I am on the verge of tears right now because I just don't understand what is going on and I can't stop my mind from switching over and over even though I am doing something else and it feels like my brain gets stuck for few seconds but the thoughts that I get stuck on seem familiar. I know this makes no sense it is so hard to explain. Okay, I can look at someone and hear them talk and go inside myself thinking in my crazy mind why are they talking like that and what if I am suppose to think that way and then I fade out a bit turn all hot all over my hearing seems in a tunnel and I feel strange until I stop and switch thoughts and will return to normal. This has been happening for a little over a month. Why anxiety for no reason that is what does not make sense I have never had this before now so why now. What is wrong with me? Please anyone I need your posts it shows me I'm not alone. I just got my health insurance so on pay day I am going to find out why I am losing it and going crazy. I am finding myself overthinking outting for fear I will lose it but I have to talk myself out of that so I don't reclouse. My husband is in jail right now I just started a new job about 3 months ago after being let go by a super Bi#*H who hated me a job I was at for 5 1/2 years. I love my new job. I just don't know if this makes sense or if I am explaining it right. I feel like my mind is skipping to familiar thoughts brought on by the thoughts that run through my mind but then they seem to daze me a bit but like I said no one would no it just me cause I continue with what I am doing or talking about. PLEASE ANYONE!!
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Alysalvagni responded:
I know the exact feeling. Happens almost everyday with me. have anxiety and panic disorder. Just breathe and remind yourself that you are okay. Good luck
 
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raidersblondie replied to Alysalvagni's response:
Thank you so much! It helps so much to know that others are dealing with similar things because it is just so scary weird. I read that yogurt will help so I am eating it everyday until I can go to the doctors and get on the meds I need. I was told about 8 months ago that I have mild OCD I say mild because mine are never so disruptive if that makes sense like now I need to know where my keys and my purse it no big deal, anyway the doctor said I was very fidgity and told me I have anxiety and panic disorder and although I believed him was afraid to take the medication and threw it all away. I lost my job and insurance so now just waiting for my new insurance to kick in. I have been thinking why all of the sudden but realized I have been dealing with this for many years it is just I have so much going on right now that I am overwhelmed and the only thing I do know is I am having these weird spells so I dwell on them which then freaks me out and I get scared. I really want to thank you it really does mean so much to hear from others that i am not going crazy. I really just need some people in my life that understand. Thank you again!!
 
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Bobbie1717 replied to raidersblondie's response:
I read your post above and I understand what you are saying. I see that you are dealing with your husband being in jail and dealing with a job loss. Those are two big factors to consider. Those two events can cause someone to have a breakdown. Then you have deal with the struggles of everyday life.
I have had a few nervous breakdowns and I can tell you, they aren't pleasant.
You need a good doctor to evaluate you. Be very honest with the doctor, and write down everything that has been happening with you and share that with your doctor. You may need some medications to help you with this and they may suggest a pshycologists for you to talk to.
I wish you the very best of life. Be sure to see a doctor, so you can get the help you need.
It seems like your mind is spinning out of control. At times when my house is very quite I think I hear people talking in hushed voices. I don't like that and I try to talk to myself with logic by saying, now you know that is your mind playing tricks on you. And then I turn on a radio and play some Christian music to soothe me.
May God bless you.
 
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raidersblondie replied to Bobbie1717's response:
Thank you so much! The responses are just so needed and welcomed. I am so thankfull to get responses because there are times I really feel like I am going crazy. I have been able to talk myself down a bit so I don't panic too hard or too long. I am going to the doctors as soon as I can because I need to be in a better place I hate feeling like this. I can say that since I have been on-line and reading other's stories and getting the great replies has helped so very much and it sure helps to calm down. Thank you again! Shoot me a note any time if you want to chat or relay information. It is great to have people that understand!


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