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Looking for help
An_252797 posted:
my adult daughter is being treated for ADD & Anxiety for the last several years. Her 18 year marriage crumbled in 2009 - she started the end, he finished it. They were best friends, did everything together, including run a successful business. Since the divorce, it has become very apparent that she has always had difficulty maintaining friendships and now cannot keep a job - gets fired. She has been seeing a psychologist for at least 10 years. She is going downhill rapidly mentally and I don't know how to help her. It's like she lives in her own unreal world. Somehow I think her illness far exceeds her current diagnosis. Any suggestions on how I can help her?
rohvannyn responded:
Encourage her to find a new psychologist? It sounds pretty plain that for whatever reason, her current strategy isn't helping.
33426 replied to rohvannyn's response:
I've suggested that but to no avail. Thank you for responding.
rohvannyn replied to 33426's response:
It must be frustrating. Sadly, in the end the person suffering has to decide that they want to do whatever it takes to get better, and no one can force them. You know about what they say about leading a horse to water and all that.
33426 replied to rohvannyn's response:
Unfortunately, she is the only one not seeing there is a problem. She blames everyone else. I know I am not and do not have the solution but I certainly don't want to add to her issues. She wasn't always like this and the family thinks she is just spiraling out of control. I am just looking for suggestions on what actions I can take to possibly make her pause for thought. I can't control her thoughts and actions but I can certainly control my own. And one excellent thought came from your response - I will seek out my own counselor for professional guidance. Thank you for your interest.
Sarah4567 responded:
One way to get her in contact with the full scope of professionals she needs is presenting herself at the emergency room: preferably a psychiatric hospital. This might scare you, but it's a sure way to make sure she gets a full examination from a psychiatrist, psychologist, and gets all the blood tests she needs from an MD to rule out anything physical that can cause these problems. With mental illness, we can usually find our own resources like finding a psychologist, etc. But when it gets this bad, sometimes we need a full team of mental health professionals to give us the right diagnosis and a clear cut and extensive treatment plan. What do you think?
33426 replied to Sarah4567's response:
Excellent idea but, as I stated, she does not see the problem. It is everybody else who is at fault and there is no discussing it with her. She gets very defensive and verbally abusive. Truthfully, her issues are mindboggling to me and I don't have a clue on how I can help her. Believe me, she can be a very intimidating force Our phone conversations (we live in different states) are kept light on my end as I do not want to bring on any disagreements. I just agree with everything, tell her I love her, and wish her a good day. As a mother, I feel inadequate and guilty that I'm not trying to help her but, as an intelligent person, I know there is nothing I can do and don't want her to stop talking to me. I do appreciate your taking the time to respond to my inquiry but I guess we will just have to see in what direction my daughter takes her life. Again, thank you.

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