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Food anxiety
MissCaptainKirk posted:
Hey all, I just am looking for advice or help please. This post looks long i know but pleae bear with me. i have had clinical depression/anxiety since I was little. I have had great help with a counselor and doctors to get my anxiety levels down with most issues and it's much better than it used to be.

However, there is one aspect of my life that has caused me anxiety and slowly but surely consumed my life since I was a kid. The problem is food. I think about it all the time. I mean ALL the time. I try very hard to eat healthy and keep my portions to a small size and eat frequently through the day since I have a bad digestive disorder as well as low blood sugar. But I hate how much I think about food. I obsess over it. I calculate calories and GI levels and I've researched freakin everything trying to figure out how I should eat. I force myself to eat even when I am scared of a food (like yummy cereal or a cookie) because if I don't eat a little of the scary food it will control me.

I almost always feel hungry even when I am very busy or absorbed in something. I am also hungry after I eat still but I try to stop eating anyway because I have the capacity to eat a lot (it is genetic, all my dads side has the capacity to eat ungodly amounts of food and never be fat). I know I am not fat but I always FEEL fat, know what I mean? I always feel like an enormous human but my doctors all say I am healthy now and 2 years ago I was extremely underweight but I STILL felt fat. When I look in the mirror my brain is confused...I see evidence of being a normal weight. I see muscles and bones. And yet I still look fat and I always have this nagging feeling that I need to fix it.

I am very active but most of the time I am pushing myself because I am hungry but I want to earn my food by balancing it out with activity.

I am so sick of thinkin about food and being hungry. I've tried just ignoring my hunger but if I don't eat every few hours my blood sugar drops and I get hypoglycemic - I start shaking and sweating and have passed out. Also I get agonizing pain in my stomach. Also I get immobilizing migraines where I can't move for hours or days at a time and throw up and etc etc.

I wish food didn't exist and yet I am a cook and love flavor combinations and dishes is like doing art for me and people i know say i am very good at it and like me to cook for them with the flavor combinations and it's why I love restraunts with cool dishes and like it is like art to me.

WHAT DO I DO? This is agonizing. Like right now I am so hungry and a headache is coming on and I'm starting to feel shaky but I don't WANT to eat because it's stupid and I wish I could never be hungry EVER. And I like cry about it like i am crying right now WHY AM I CRYING WHY IS THIS SO SERIOUS. and no one in my life will help me or understands. They all tell me I have no reason to complain because I'm not fat so just shut up. The only person who understands is y friend because she has the same problem but we can't help each other besides moral support. If someone on this board can help me maybe I can help her too.

This is really hard I hope you guys don't think I am stupid or whiny I just want help please the anxiety over this is ruining everything. :_(
rohvannyn responded:
Oh... one little tip. I don't know if it will help you or not, but check this out: go to a dieting site. Like webmd fitness tool, or calorie counter, or something like that. It sounds backwards, I know. Here is why, though. If you go to a place where is a lot of focus placed on healthy portion sizes, and nutrition, then you can begin to see what is a healthy portion size, and what is too small (or too large) as well as seeing what your body really needs to live, and how much.

Then you can set goals of what you need to keep yourself going, and what kinds of foods you should have. It will help your thought processes, your hypoglycemia, and a whole host of other things.

There is definitely hope.

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