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Just want to know that I am not alone
cgbarnett12 posted:
At first i thought i had anxiety. And I did. For two weeks now i had this feeling of doom looming over me. I was afraid to be alone or to travel. I knew I needed help. So i finally got a therapist and I had my first session and i started to feel good. I mean i still had the anxiety but it wasnt as bad and i was starting to feel a little excited about the new job I was starting. But as the anxiety decipitated, the uncontrollable thoughts still lingered. At times I'm confused because my thoughts don't seem to be of me. A sort of depersonalisation. The question of will I ever feel myself again continues to haunt me. And i'm not sure what being myself really is anymore. I'm trying to have patience to schedule my next therapy appointment because I need to be able to coordinate it with my new job that i'm starting on monday but I just can't seem to be patient. And the moments when i'm actually not stressed and happy are interrupted when I start to question how long will this good period be and is this happiness real.
I know it sounds more like self sabotage but it kills me that im not sure how my life is going to play out.
I keep asking people if they've felt this way and if they have been able to overcome their anxiety without relying on medication and I just can't find anyone who has. I just wanna if its really possible to beat this because I just feel lost and drained.

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