Intrusive thoughts am i going crazy
avatar
An_255061 posted:
hi all im a 29 year old female, suffering with what ive been told anxiety. i have opened a business moved and got married all within a year and a half. luckily my business has grown overnight from a staff of 2 to now a staff of 14. since december i have been suffering with something i went to my ob gyn and i started to cry saying i dont want my parents to die he prescribed 20 mg of prozac, i didnt take the medication until 3 weeks ago. since then i have been seeing a cbt. and a psychiatrist bc i became fixated on not going crazy and not wanting to kill myself that it almost felt as if the opposite was going to happen, and then this past week i get nervous around people am i going to hurt somebody? i have never been like this in my life!!! im such a happy go lucky person with a great business and a great husband and family, im having doubts about who i really am bc i cant believe that this is happening to me, bc not one paticular incident happened to set me off. sometimes i feel like i should go to the mental institute bc of the thoughts of getting worse or doing something bad freaks me out so much. i did have anxiety 8 years ago due to a break up with a boyfriend and it left about 2-3 months time, but not to this extent and i didnt have to take medication. i went to the psychiatrist and he says i have anxiety and so does my therapist but i feel like its more serious then this bc of these thoughts. please help me make sense of this i just want to get better, am i psycho?
Reply
 
avatar
rohvannyn responded:
I don't think you are "psycho!" It really sounds like you are under a lot of stress and are having trouble with a lot of anxiety because of it. Remember, success can be really stressful too. Sometimes intrusive thoughts don't really indicate your real desires. Sometimes they come from tension, or your subconscious processing things. Check out anxieties.com, it has a lot of helpful tips, and meanwhile share everything you can with your therapist. Learning coping behaviors can help you, and understanding why you are feeling a certain way can help too.
 
avatar
designmom651 responded:
I feel your pain, I am sorry you are suffering so bad right now. But your story sounds so much like me. Stress is my trigger to anxiety which lead to a bipolar 1 manic break. My suggestion if your state offers the test called the MMPI, ask to take it. It will help your pdoc narrow your in on your personility quickeer and hopefully save you from the trip to a hospital. But do go to a hospital if you think it is a safe place for you to be. To get the anxiety under control being the focus, so you can begin to live happy again. Best Wishes!
 
avatar
jacqueline727 responded:
Hi! I know this post is old, but I am going through the exact same thing! I am also taking Paxil and it helped for a bit but now my anxiety is back. I wanted to know if you ever found anything to help. I have a very similar story, just moved, got married, found a new job etc. I also had a fear of losing my family members! It's so weird how our stories are almost the same! I now have a fear that I am going to hurt someone or myself, which is so crazy because I know I would never want to do anything! Please let me know if you ever found out what was causing your thoughts. Thanks!!
 
avatar
bonhill responded:
There are quite a few references to this sort of thing happening in severe cases of anxiety and panic, like the fear of hurting someone. There are examples of this in Dr. Claire Weekes' books and Dr. David Sheehan's book, The Anxiety Disease. When anxiety is severe enough, I believe some people develop kind of obsessive thinking, and when they have a thought, like hurting their child or someone else - (just examples), the fear of that thought gets magnified and then they can't get the thought out of their head. It's related a bit to OCD, another anxiety disorder. Please read the books for reassurance. Once your anxiety is under control, these unwanted thoughts will probably go away. I had this experience once while withdrawing abruptly from Valium years ago, causing severe anxiety and panic. No, you're not a psycho... I know this is an old post-but no, you don't belong in a 'mental institution.' The 2 books will help reassure you and offer a more detailed explanation. Hope this might help someone reading this now.
 
avatar
sw3tflower responded:
When you feel like you might hurt yourself please call your doctor or go to the ER.
Also, the medications for extreme anxiety take up to 6 weeks to take affect. You might have side effects during those 6 weeks. But thinking about killing yourself is not something to take lightly. You need to immediately get help. Taking a sedative or antianxiety medication can help you get through those awful feelings.
Your not psycho. Your anxiety is so overwhelming you are having trouble staying in control of your emotions. The thought of losing control is very frightening. It's hard to make decisions when you feel like this. Try to use some coping behaviors that work for you; deep breathing, muscle relaxation, meditation, soothing music, a warm shower.
Jumping in a cold shower helps shock me out of having a full blown panic attack and also can help my brain from 'thinking' the same thoughts over and over.
Continue with the therapy. Find a way that helps calm you. I feel for you.