My Life Escapes Me
mauiwaui4u posted:
To be so bold as to face the truth I'm a 42 year old male who survived being sold into sex industry as a child as a "Commercially Sexually Exploited Child" I am now a father of 3 with my newest family member having arrived Jan 2014. Now I am crumbling emotional stay at home Dad, AKA Mister Mom... I am so afraid of all the drugs and smoking cigarettes since those early years of misery and a life time of emotional and physical bondage dealing with the ever constant pain. Now feeling that I am going to die...??? I don't feel good...

Can any one relate to this or similar situation and if so want to discuss if to clear the air please.
mtnmaura responded:
I am a 62 year old female who survived ritual abuse, torture, commercial exploitation and a generally over the top childhood that led to dissociative disorder. I am now grappling with high anxiety and the inability to work . My brain feels like it's on overload. I can empathize with your situation as I raised 2 kids, one gifted and one medically handicapped who died at age 17. That didn't help. HA I feel like every day is hand to hand combat with my brain and the ability to feel pleasure is lost. I can relate to a life time of emotional bondage dealing with the ever constant pain. Has anything worked for you?
I take paroxetine, an anti-anxiety medication, and it has worked well for decades. Recent new job totally pushed me over the edge, however, and I haven't felt this bad in 10 years. I think that as we age we have less ability to cope with stress, and maybe my brain hit the wall.
Do you ever get a break from your kids? Do you do any exercise, yoga or meditation. How do you have time with 3 kids? Do you have a support group??
I can relate and am happy to discuss any time.
Thanks for your openness and honesty