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Hoping for hope
jenygemini posted:
Hello Everyone! New to this figure I would give it a try to see if this would provide me some comfort to share and talk to others who maybe going through the feelings. I've always had anxiety normally in social situations due self esteem and self conscious feelings about my appearance or weight. The past year my anxiety has grown into panic attacks which interfere with my life tremendously! These attacks have caused me concerns with work, I'm afraid to make friends and feel like I am not capable of carrying on conversations with co workers. The thought of talking to others drives me into fear, each day is a battle I have good days and bad days. The day before yesterday I had two panic attacks within an hour from each other. It was first time I experienced such much fear, heart pounding, slight head ache, and dizziness. I was trying to focus so hard to relax and breathe it was causing me to have pressure in head and feel dizzy. It took me few hours to finally get the courage to get up and leave work, it was embarrassing, I told my supervisor what I was feeling and that I had to go. I'm very lucky that my supervisor is very understanding. These attacks affect my personal life as well. When I am out I began to feel that everyone around me knows I am having my anxiety attacks and I convince my self that everyone is starring at me. This feeling is what starts the pressure in my head because I focus soo hard on not looking anyone in the eye, I also feel like I have slight twitches. The fear I will feel this way when going out in public is terrible, so I often stay home and do like to go out and do simple things like grocery shopping etc. I have a 2 1/2 year sweet boy and I feel so guilty because I don't take him out much because of the anxiety I get, this makes me feel selfish so I do my best and play with him a lot at home. I have been talking about seeing a doctor for sometime now but I afraid of what they may say, or prescribe, but I have to do something I don't want live like this anymore. My social life is decent but my coping mechanism is to drink more alcohol when I'm out to make my self feel comfortable which is pretty pitiful. I know I need help and hope that I can resolve these issues. Thanks for listening.

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