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New here Anxious and Feel Like I'm Going Nuts
An_257704 posted:
I have RA, fibromyalgia, ankylosing spondylitis, etc. I also wrestle with depression/anxiety. I am seeing a mental health professional and of course doctors. I'm 52. My husband is 62. I am his caregiver. He's diabetic (really bad) and has bad legs due to poor blood flow (DVT). He was in a bad car accident in 1999. Anyhow, he's got numerous health issues due to being obese and diabetic. He eats whatever and doesn't care. I am obese also but we are going to a weight loss doctor. My husband isn't losing weight but I am.

So, I handle everything. I drive everywhere, I pay the bills, I handle it all. I have a 62 year old infant.

I've also got my mother-in-law with leukemia and my father-in-law having open heart surgery soon. So that's another stressor.

My husband is driving me totally nuts. How do you know if someone has dementia or Alzheimers? Here's an example. We have a pizza cooker. Actually, it's a turntable that cooks a lot of different quick food. If you unplug it for any reason when it is running you have to reset the timer to zero and start it again, otherwise the heating element will not heat. My husband knows this. So he unplugs it and plugs it back in, not resetting the timer. I remind him he needs to reset the timer. He tells me just to leave it, the heating element will start up again. (Are you kidding me?). We use this all the time. So he's arguing with me that he doesn't need to reset the timer. I finally scream at him that he needs to, and if you don't believe me, read the manual! Then he says whatever and finally does it. He wants to toast some bread. He puts it on there and ignores it. If I don't tell him to take it off it would burn.

When I talk to him he's in outer space. It's like he's in another world. I don't think he's even comprehending what I'm saying.

I don't know how much longer I can take this. I have zero support. I have no family, no friends for support. His family doesn't offer support. His folks have helped us out a lot moneywise (we're both on disability) but now they have their own health issues. His mom was always hypercritical of me. Why don't I keep my house clean, why don't I do this and that? (She doesn't understand the word disability and not able to do a lot. Maybe she understands now.) His folks also don't understand limited funds when a person is on disability. Talking with his folks was like talking to a wall.

To top it off, my shrink is leaving and going to the VA Hospital to work and it sucks. I have to find someone new.

I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for listening. I'm at the end of my rope.
xxthatsnotmynamexx responded:
Hey, I read your post. I know that when a lot of problems come on at once, it's very hard and stressful. The best way to take it would to tackle one thing at a time, and steadily break it down. You're doing very well, I know that you are, and I'd help it I could, but that' the only thing I have to offer. I have a suggestion, you said that you don't have much support money wise? Here's what my mother does, she goes to thrift shops, for example, and buys things that would cost a dollar or two there, and sells it for twenty, I believe on Amazon. Also, you're stress on the in-laws, they'll be okay. Just give as much love and support for them, and they will be alright. That's all the feedback I can really give, but you will be okay, and everything will be alright, I have depression and some disorders myself, and, well, when theres troubles in life, it's always a down pour, all at once. But, after a storm, there will always be sunshine again I hope this helped you

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