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    Anxiety and Depression Support
    silverlininggirl posted:
    Hi all! I am brand new here and would like to thank you in advance for reading and sharing. I've suffered from depression from around 17 and now that I'm 34, anxiety seems to be more of the problem. I'm not sure if it was back then too and I didn't realize it or if it really did change.

    Regardless, I've been through the rounds of meds, and am now only taking bupropion XL 150mg and have Lorazepam on-hand for anxiety. Others have worked better but the side effects were unfavorable so I am trying to make this work.

    Another factor is I've come off of birth control pills (2 months now) because my boyfriend has had a vasectomy and I don't like to be on more meds than necessary. This is why I'm not sure if it is hormones or actual symptoms.

    The last month plus I've had symptoms: crying, anger (that boils up and can lead to crying), waking up with the knot in my stomach and distress as my boyfriend leaves for work (I notice this separation anxiety when I have had bouts in the past) unable to make decisions, procrastination, black and white thinking, etc.

    Talking to someone helps a lot but as my friend is having just as hard a time right now and I'd rather be there for her. I'm afraid to keep a journal, I'm embarrassed of my thoughts because they're irrational and am afraid of anyone reading it. My boyfriend is phenomenal, I mean after being fired from a job because of it and having people reject me once they found out about my condition, his acceptance has left me speechless and so so grateful. This being said, I still feel really stupid once I tell him stuff out loud, because as I'm hoping some of you understand, most of it is not a big deal. It's extremely hard to explain it to someone who has never experienced it, even though they are there to help you and listen. I become so down on myself that I start to think I don't deserve him and fight myself because I know I do. The spiraling thoughts are really hard to stop during the day unless I do talk about them or do something about it (even though I know in the moment I should take care of something, I find myself getting upset that I didn't do it)

    I was hoping to maybe find someone who would like to chat once in a while. I love to listen too. Or even just on here as a little group to get my thoughts out and have a little help realizing they are not the end of the world. I want to look forward to my days again, I miss it! This is probably the best my life has been and I want to smile and love every minute of it!

    Thank you once again, and I hope we can help each other!
    timbeta responded:
    Hi silverlininggirl. I just signed up to this community to find others I can connect with. Life has been good to me but most of the time I feel anxious. I have a loving supportive family but I feel I need to communicate with others outside of my cocoon of safety.
    silverlininggirl replied to timbeta's response:
    I just read your entry timbeta! Yes, it really does help so much. I would love to connect with you!
    timbeta replied to silverlininggirl's response:
    Do you know how people can contact each other directly in these communities?

    If this community site does not have that capability I can set up a temporary email address you can contact me at so we don't have to post our contact info here on this forum.

    I have to go to work so it isn't something I can do right now.

    Thanks for responding.
    rohvannyn replied to timbeta's response:
    I can tell you that there is no private message feature, so if people want to contact each other directly a temporary email address is the best way.
    timbeta replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Thanks rohvannyn. That's what I thought.
    timbeta replied to silverlininggirl's response:
    Below is my email address I created for use on this site.

    Looking forward to hearing from you

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