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    I feel like part of my brain shouldn't be there.
    avatar
    clutch21 posted:
    Hello,
    Since I hit puberty I have suffered from severe depression. I was technically undiagnosed until recently because I did not want to let my family down. Suicidal thoughts have been a recurring theme in my life, so my doctors put me on an antidepressant which has helped dull the symptoms quite a bit.

    However this is what is bothering me. Since the depression light switch was flipped on in my brain around puberty I have felt that part of my brain shouldn't be where it is (more specifically the back top left of my brain) and if I were to get it removed the depression would go away.

    I know this is not normal but this "itch" to have that part of my brain removed has creeped up into my daily thoughts. I don't want to kill myself I am just totally confused and this thought distracts me quite often while I am at work.

    Does anyone have any ideas or something similar? If so what did you do to change it? I am just tired of struggling with this thought.

    Thank you
    Reply
     
    avatar
    Reid Wilson, PhD responded:
    Hey, clutch21 -
    If you read freeicecream's question, and my response, that is you! Yes, granted, you're thinking about a different topic. But it is still an obsession — a repetitious, unproductive thought that distresses is you. When you decide the content is valid — "if only I could remove that part of my brain, the depression will go away" — then you will remain preoccupied with it. Instead, think of it as a mental noise. Have you ever watched the Peanuts cartoon specials on TV? Do you know how they represent the voice of adults? You can never hear what the adult is saying; you only hear, "Wa, Wa, Wa, Wa." That's how you should treat this thought. You will remain dominated by the thought if you think it has validity. It does not. It is your anxiety messing with you. Take control back. It requires that you feel anxious. But you cannot allow the content of obsessions to dominate you.


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