I have had dogs my whole life and I like them much better than humans for the most part. We had five Dachshunds, we bred one of our females and we got 3 puppies. We made a deal with the breeder that she could have one puppy who would be a show dog. This breeder was a judge at Westminster and she was so happy when we showed her the ancestry chart with nothing but champions and Dachshunds she actually knew.
I can honestly say, when those puppies came home it was the happiest most wonderful time of my life.. I would take one and lie down and put the pup on my chest. I was so glad I did not work. Those puppies were my life, I talked to them, I sang and danced with them.We developed rituals with them. They were always our priority. We spent twelve thousand dollars on back surgeries. We all slept together, we developed such strong bonds with them they spoke to us when they wanted something.
We went out for dinner one night and when we got home I sensed there was something wrong with one of them. We have a state of the art facility here so we took her down there.
She said she was going to keep her so the specialist could see her in the morning. We got a call at 4:05 AM telling us Kali had died. I started screaming, sobbing , I just wanted to die too. When they checked her she had a large tumor in her spleen that burst and had gone into her heart. We never in a million years could have known that. We brought her here with us. I do not drink or smoke so I just got into bed. I went days with no sleep crying.I did no eat anything for 12 days and the doctor threatened to put me in the hospital. 4 months later her brother died in my arms, I just withdrew from life. No one could help me. I cried non stop for months, I stayed in bed, the anxiety was so bad. It took 2 years for me to try and live. again. Neither one of us could speak about them without just sobbing.. People do not understand that these wonderful creatures were like children for me and my husband. We now have 2 mini long haired Dachshunds who I love with all my heart. My other Dachshunds are in custom made mahagony boxes with a gold closure and handles. We inscribed two gold panels which we attached to the box.
I lost my Dad in a horrifying accident that I still cannot talk about. I broke out in huge bloody sores all over my body which I had biopsied . Results were extreme anxiety, then I started to shake so uncontrolably I could not walk. I am housebound trying to do what the doctors want me to do. My Mom has always said I was a very nervous child, I had a bleeding ulcer at 15. The medication is working and for the first time in my life I've had 2 days when I was really calm.
The doctor has warned me that it can come back so I should avoid anything that is anxiety.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, I truly know how you feel.