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    My Mother-in-law is just hateful because I have been really sick due to my Asthma.
    mayjones posted:
    Pets, dust, mold, and pollen is the underline cause of my asthma acting up; as well as the undue stress she has been pushing on me. She tells me things like, "Grab a facemask and gloves and start cleaning." Normally, I would have no problem with help someone clean their home. Nor do I have a problem with removing myself and going outside, using my inhaler and waiting ten to twenty minutes before returning indoors; mainly because of pets (cats and dogs). I try very hard not to make people feel like their house is not clean enough because I know they do clean their homes. Often I will even pitch in and help clean without stating the fact that their pet and or pets are killing me. They shed all over everything! This is just a fact of life.

    I think their attitude of "Grab a Face-mask and Gloves and start cleaning" is beyond repulsive and insensitive; after all before I became so ill I did do just that. For nine years, my wife and I would travel over an hour to help my mother-in-law clean her home every time she complained that she needed help. Before moving back in with them (to help them out because they couldn't pay all their bills and the taxes on the house) an agreement was reached: I am not their maid, they must clean their home as if we are not there; we would help clean only the areas in which we use. This is because we had spent nine years traveling almost two hours to clean their home for them while their other daughter refused to help them. We were not moving in to play house maids, cooks, and grounds keepers. If she wanted these things she would have to hire people to do it for her. Plus, she tells everyone that we never help her so why should we help her!

    The whole point of us moving in was that the house would be sold; six years later, the house was removed from the market and they don't want to do anything to improve the home so it can be sold. We pay rent on top of it but she tells everyone we never pay it; 100% untrue. The facts are, we pay our rent for a bedroom only, and won't let us have anything of ours anywhere in the house. She removes our things from the kitchen and sets it at the bottom of the stairs for me to put in our bedroom or hides it on us. She won't let us turn the air conditioner on to filter out the pollen, mold, and dust as recommend by the doctors. She won't clean her home! Moving out right now is not an option because she high jacked my spouse's credit and had three credit cards in my spouse's name; which we just had to use the down payment for buying a home to pay them all off, grand total of $7938.14. (Which she promised to pay off, lied to dad and told him she paid them off, when she did not make payments on them for over two years.) She is lucky she is not my mother because I would have her arrested for credit fraud! Now, we have to repair my spouse's credit before we can buy a home.

    The question now becomes, "Should I put myself at risk and clean the home or should I hire a maid service and deduct it from our rent"? Honestly, I am on steroids, antibiotics, nebulizer four times per day, an inhaler twice a day, another inhaler four times per day; and I have had to go to the hospital for treatments, as well as numerous doctor office visits that led to more increases in dosages and treatments. I am facing being hospitalized because my asthma treatments are not helping me due to: the home needing cleaned, air needing to be filtered, pets needing to be washed, and the undue stress she is adding by being hateful to me about it.

    What would you do?

    Take the Poll

    Clean or Hire a Maid Service
    • Grab a Face-mask and Gloves and start cleaning!
    • Hire a maid service and deduct it from your rent.
    View Poll Results
    deluxehd responded:
    That is tough way to live daily. I would recommend a maid service. You need to think of yourself and your health. Especially if you are on the verge of hospitalization. It sounds like you are already maxed out on meds. Put yourself first this time. I hope you get things resolved and feel better.
    christgirl1963 responded:
    I have severe asthma also. pollen, dust as well as other things can put me into an asthma attack. I have tried the dust mask back before my asthma got this bad and it does not help. God says to walk in someone else's shoes before you judge. we aren't to judge anyway. some understanding and compassion on her part would be a great thing. you are not alone. GOD BLESS
    bugeyedmonster2 responded:
    If you and spouse cannot move out right now, are y'all eligible for some sort of housing assistance? You could move into section 8 housing/public housing and be out of that atmosphere.

    Your MiL sounds very manipulative. She knows you have health issues, yet expects you to clean in spite of them. (Some cleaners can irritate asthma and cause flare ups.) She's says one thing when it's really a different situation. She sounds like a poisonous person, and y'all would probably be better off away from her. There's probably a very good reason why her other daughter NEVER comes around.

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