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Toileting problems
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mom2guys posted:
Do any other parents have children with toileting issues, my boys age 6 and 9 are both on the spectrum. They both were very late trainers, but the big issue we have now is withholding BM to the point of discomfort. Both boys are verbal. I go to parent trainings where sometimes people immediately start pointing to their diet. This of course could be better, kids on the spectrum are really picky as we know, however they aren't always constipated. They withhold it as long as possible, which sometimes lead to constipation, or they have accident trying not to go. Any sugestions or parents with the same issues?
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mamac21 responded:
My daughter is 6 and we have a similar issue. She is verbal but refuses to tell us when she has to go to the bathroom. She will withhold both BM and pee until she can no longer hold it, and then she will go wherever she is (unless we are out in public). It is definitely frustrating. I think for her it is a control/flexibility issue. She doesn't want to take time out of her day to go potty. Also, since she still sleeps in pull-ups, I think she holds it until bed so she can go in the pull-up and Mom & Dad will clean it up.

I wish I could give you some advice on how to deal with it but right now we aren't sure either!
 
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mom2guys replied to mamac21's response:
Thanks for your input, although you had no solutions it does help to know we aren't the only ones dealing with this. it gets a little better as they get older , my bigger guy has less accidents. One thing I do to make the clean ups easier is I use latex or vinyl gloves , a big box of 100 runs about 7.99 in Walmart. My 6 year old has one of those toileting charts from school on our bathroom wall so I always point out to him poo goes in the toilet. I stopped getting upset, I found it made it worse.
 
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motherofrob responded:
Oh ladies thanks for understanding my pain. I just took my son to a pediatric urologist to work on the potty training issues that we have and he told me to eliminate all dairy from his diet, give him a laxative and implying that i wasnt giving the best diet. I admit his diet is not the greatest but he is the pickest eater and I have a hard time trying to get him to eat so many foods. Pills are terrible for us so a laxative is kind of tough too. I will suggest that you ask your dr about giving your boys some miralix. My daughter was on it for a bit because of issues with holding it in and it did help. The dr said it was very gentle and safe for kids. She was much younger too when I gave it too her. My son refuses to be potty trained and I feel like it is a personal failure. We are going to try a new therapy called biofeedback to help him listen to his bodies signals.
 
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mom2guys replied to motherofrob's response:
My older son was on Miralax before, it did help at least soften the stool, but this boy can hold it like a champ. I didn't know about the biofeedback so I may look into it. I am trying to get them both to at least sit on the bowl and try daily, sometimes it is like warfare , so I give up. The funny thing is they were doing better a couple of months ago, the older guy was going at least every 2 days . The six year old was getting on daily as long as we gave him the Sony PSP game to play with, but lately they have really regressed. IT is frustrating for us as parents and painful for them.
 
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motherofrob replied to mom2guys's response:
We tried miralix too before. I actually went to a pschyiatrist and she told me that the biofeedback is alot of hoowey and that she has never see it work. She was the most helpful of all the people we have seen in that she wasnt judgmental and didnt just throw meds at me.
 
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mom2guys replied to motherofrob's response:
Well just hang in there,I have had a tough week with this problem as they both were holding it and it took Milk of magnesia to unbind them, to top it all of the little guy help poo in there and it had caused a raw rash, so I had to take him to the doctor, he's been home from his summer program all week. As far as medication goes my big guy has been on Risperidone for about a month and a half. No it has not helped too much with the toileting, but his behavior is so much better. I too had taken him to a psychiatrist , but he wasn't child friendly although he had a good read on my son's problem. He didn't listen and gave me medication he had to swallow even though I said he wouldn't . He is now being treated and our county childrens dept of mental health by a counselor and a psych nurse practioner they really listen to what I say and helped me feel at ease. The pill he takes dissolves in his mouth. I'm not saying you should use medication, it was a hard decision for us , but don't totally close off to it if you try everything else and it doesn't work. Thanks for the heads up on the bio-feeback.
 
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motherofrob replied to mom2guys's response:
Risperidone is a antiphycotic drug used for the irritability of autism. I would not really expect it to help with the potty problems. It is so hard to find drs that listen and have ideas of how to help, that is so true. Its not like we want all the answers, but someone to understand and be supportive.
 
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ts4usportsupplies responded:
Our son had constipation problems. We used Mountain Botanicals - Intestinal #1Formula. Casein - Gluten free diet. We started to buy raw milk which helped his digestive system. These things we feel helped him. He still has behavioral problems but digestive problems seem to be more controllable. Our son is now 14.
 
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motherofrob responded:
Ok all my sisters in this struggle. Do you ever feel like this is a personal failure for you that your child still struggles with potty training? Oh boy do I. The school has been less than supportive. A mother of another child in my sons school called me at home to tell me that she was appalled at the way my son was being spoken to in a public area after having an accident. I mean were talking about a child who is in a special ed program who has a diagnosis. I never said he didn't have problems. I did speak to the principle about this and she was very supportive so we'll see how it goes.
 
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mom2guys replied to motherofrob's response:
I know the feeling both my boys have struggled with this. I think my 9 year old finally has it together. He has finally stopped wholding the bm is going regularly!! Amen. But the 6 yr old is still letting it go in the pants. We have weeks when he does better, but then Boom!! Regression. Yeah sometimes I do feel like I am failing somewhere. My son has verbal skills, yet some of the non-verbal kids I know are trained. I am trying not to compare, they all are diffrent. But I am so tired of the poop rinsing bucket, the stained undies and the mess. I keep saying and this too shall pass.
 
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motherofrob replied to mom2guys's response:
Reply to mom2guys.
I am just glad that someone understands my struggles. It is that same for us too. Some weeks we have great victories and other weeks such defeats. I agree my son is verbal and everyone keeps asking why this is an issue for him. I think because he doesn't physically look any different people forget he has a diagnosis. I know this too shall pass. But when. Do you by any change live in Illinois?
 
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mom2guys replied to motherofrob's response:
No we are in upstate NY, but keep in touch and let me know your progress. Of the many struggles , behavior, school, I tell you this has been the most difficult. It can really hinder you from getting out , spending quality time with them, other family members, we have even had to cancel going out because one of them was holding and uncomfortable.
 
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motherofrob replied to mom2guys's response:
I think the most difficult is the personal defeat I feel with the situation. The school acts/implies that I enable this behavior. Maybe I do, but I don't think so. I have high standards for my son, but I try to understand who he is and find a way to make things possible for him. People need to be more understanding and less judgmental. Teachers are especially the worst at being judgmental. There is a kind way to tell a special needs child that potty accidents would not have occured if he would have gone to the bathroom when reminded to. It should not be in front of all his peers and be demeaning. I actually got a phone call from a mother at my sons school reagarding this very situation. She was upset at how the staff member spoke to my child regarding his accident. I called and talked to the principal regarding the situation. I have never hidden this trouble from the school and he is in a special ed program. I shouldn't have to talk to any staff about this.
 
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mom2guys replied to motherofrob's response:
I think you are in the same boat as we are in that the kids have a "normal" appearance so people expect more of them than they are capable of. ASD is a disability as much as cerebral palsy or down syndrome. While we want them to be as independent as possible, this is the reality. No excuse for teachers, to be rude. I haven't had too much problems regarding toileting at our school, but they call about other things and Im like Hello he's autistic, you have all the documentation. They seem to expect more of the higher functioning kids.


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