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my son and fighting to protect his future
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esperanzaking posted:
my son has been a little different from other kids i noticed when he was around 2 but my husband and i were going through some difficult times and found ourselves isolated and so chance became all i knew till eventually he didnt seem so different he was all the normal i knew. my husband and i are seperated now he took my son from me and left me stranded at my moms house after insisting on halloween night he needed to take my son to see his mistress because it would make her happy and he hit me not for the first time but the first time in front of my son. i was devastated i was tempted to fall into the same pattern of keeping myself drugged up on sleeping pills so i wouldnt feel the pain because even still thinking about it hurts me. i wanted to die i never realized just how much chance meant to me till he was gone and ty wouldnt answer his phone he was torturing me and it was cruel.my mom pushed me to act and act before it was too late i wanted chance back desperately but at the same time i was afraid i wasnt the best for him because i have epilepsy i dont have a car and things just piled up. and i didnt want to get my husband in trouble even tho he caused me unbearable pain i thought i was gonna die for days all i could do was cry and i prayed i prayed like i never prayed before. and one day without thinking about it i got ahold of garf and told them my story and with there help i got my son back i was so excited to see him again after 4 long weeks but little did i know it turned out to also be the most heartwrenching day of my life. my son didnt know who i was he was so angry at me and all he would do was hurt me cause my bloody noses pull my hair give me black eyes and i would wake up to him standing over me with hard heavy objects that he would throw at me. i realized the bond we had was gone and he was a stranger that i had to work really hard to get to know all over again. it is still a work in progress but we have a bond so strong that i dont think anyone would be able to pull us apart ever again. in my heart everyday im with him i can feel the love from him and i can feel how excited and happy he is just to be around me. i also make sure im more active with him and do alot of play. ive found alot of resources on my own and our schedaul is so packed its even hard to think. ive got him in the childrens center 3 days a week hes in behavioural therapy and he sees a neurologist a psychiatrist a pediatrician and a developmental pediatrician. all of who beleive he has autism on aug 31 we go in for the actual testing what really hurt was the developmental pediatrician told us that together we produce autistic children and my husband has two girls that are fine and chance is my only one. im racked with guilt that i cant seem to get rid of i feel like i did this to my son and i took away his choice because hes also got asthma turrets and adhd and has had tubes in his ears and his tonsils out. everyones fighting me every step of the way and i have to push to do what i know is best for chance all i want is other people to care for him the way i do to understand him the way i do maybe if they did they wouldnt be so cold and unfeeling. haven autism doesnt change my love for my son not at all what i feel is determined to make sure hes not singled out in schooll and that he get the most normalcy that life hasz to offer
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motherofrob responded:
Sounds like things have been just terrible for you. Children are a gift as his mom love him and do the very best for both of you. I would caution you to make sure that you are getting the help you need also. It is not always easy to love a child with special needs but celebrate the victories.


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