Autism Support Community

Hi Betsymomof2,

I just posted a few minute ago (aspergers teen). My son was diagnosed at age 11 and just turned 15. His sisters do not have aspergers and are both very outgoing but also very protective of him. He is also as you described your son. He was different from the time he was born, but not enough for us to aggressively seek out treatment. We would have doubts, then second guess ourselves and think we were just overreacting. It was the onset of adolescents when socializing started to become a factor that we realized he was not adjusting to his environment or making friends. As his childhood friends matured he eventually became uncomfortable with them.

Fast forward to now. He is in a regular school, participates in sports, happy, well adjusted, still has trouble fitting in, but feels very comfortable in his environment. The other children seem to respect him and allow him his space, if there is any teasing or bullying-he is oblivious to it and it is going right over his head! I am still in still in the question phase and I can relate to that desperate feeling of wanting answers and wanting to do everything in your power to ensure you and your child have access to all of the available resources for the best possible outcome.

I wish you all the best with your son, in between all the between all the above words there is struggle, heartache, but also laughter, fun, humility, happiness, lots and lots of love and every emotion known to man just a little exaggerated with a kid with aspergers---but good. If I could ever be of any help please feel free to contact me.

Sometimes I think one of the best quotes to explain autism is, "Be patient; God isn't finished with me yet." We get so worried that our autistic children won't grow or develop, and it can be exhausting and heartbreaking when they have a meltdown or a really rough week.

But the good news is they do grow and develop. My son had 5 words at age 3- ate 4 things and had constant meltdowns in public. After a wonderful early childhood preschool, an IDP for educational autism in kindergarten, and Mom and Dad reading many books and articles, my son has developed so much!



Has your son received an IDP at school (some states call it an IEP) Individual development plan? I would suggest arranging a meeting to discuss it with his teacher. There are some wonderful therapists out there working with Autistic children and filling in the learning gaps. Early identification and education will do the most good for your child.

The other thing to remind yourself is that you child is the same kid he was the day before he was diagnosed. He hasn't changed at all, you just have a name for what makes him different.

It is important to not assume that your child can do everything a neurotypical kid can do. When we realized that running errands with Mom caused my son to meltdown, I stopped taking him on errands. When he got a little older, we tried again and he was able to make two stops and maintain his good mood. If I had forced the issue, it would have been miserable for both of us.