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Adult recently diagnosed. Advice needed
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francess84 posted:
Hello,

I am 28yo and was only diagnosed last week with High Functioning Autism. I started looking into it for my daughter and then realised that A) autism wasn't exactly how I pictured it and I had far too many symptoms myself. My daughter is still undergoing an assessment (she's 2 so it takes longer) but it's looking like she's the same.

For the most part, the diagnosis is a relief and now I want to know what I can do to make my life easier. I can been living with my husband and now have two children of my own. I'm finding it very hard. I can't find what options there are for me. I'm in Australia. My husband has to do almost everything around the house.

So, what now? Do you have any advice? Where to from here? I can't do housework without melting down, caring for my children is difficult and we're spending our savings to put them into childcare until I can sort myself out. The thought of returning to work is a nightmare. Will I ever be able to do housework and care for my kids without losing my sanity?

Is there anyone who was diagnosed as an adult?

If there's another adult out there, how did you tell people? did you tell them? I told my family only so far and have mixed responses but not everyone is very accepting of the diagnosis. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Thanks for reading and helping me.
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An_250977 responded:
Having autism or aspergers is not the stigma that it once was. In the last two decades, autism prevalence as reported in the scientific literature has increased by more than 600%. I've heard that 1 in 88 kids born today will be on the spectrum.

My son who is 22 years old has aspergers. I have learned that early intervention is the best thing to do so be sure to consider this when working with your daughter. In my son's case, we also found out that he had ADD or attention deficit disorder. I will tell you honestly that without his ADD medication, I don't think he can begin to get a thing done either. He also takes an antidepressant. You should ask to be tested for this things and try a trial version of Adderall. Start with a low mg, extended release dose and then increase it until you find it isn't good for you (if the doctor diagnoses you with ADD that is). It sounds like an antidepressant would be helpful for you too. You have to be under regular doctor care to get these medications.

My son is in weekly family therapy and that really helps to sort things out if you can find a good therapist. Don't be afraid to go through a couple of therapists while you're looking. I realize that can be hard or painful and for a person with aspergers but its critical to find someone you like, respect and are getting through issues with or you're wasting your time and money.


I hope some of this helps you. I love the following book for couples that are married and dealing with one of the partners being on the autism sprectrum:

The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband by David Finch
http://www.amazon.com/Journal-Best-Practices-Marriage-Asperger/dp/1439189749/ref=sr_1_1?s=books

Vabluegras posted:
Book DescriptionRelease date: October 9, 2012The warm and hilarious bestselling memoir by a man diagnosed with Asperger syndrome who sets out to save his marriageAt some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch's case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David's ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, but it doesn't make him any easier to live with.
Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband with an endearing yet hilarious zeal. His methods for improving his marriage involve excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies, including "Don't change the radio station when she's singing along" and "Apologies do not count when you shout them." Over the course of two years, David transforms himself from the world's most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest. He becomes the husband he'd always meant to be.
Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.


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