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aspergers teen
An_250240 posted:
My 15y/o son has aspergers. He constantly hugs and touches (not inappropriately) family members and it is very difficult to get him to back off. We love him dearly and he is a tremendous source of joy to our family but there are times when it just becomes so overwhelming that it takes everything my husband, myself or his two siblings have to not be unkind or break his happy spirit.

What you see is an immature/naive teen filled with love, happy, telling you over and over again that he loves you, squeezing you- its just that it doesn't end. His siblings get stressed out and sometimes cry. We love him because he is sweet, but become so overwhelmed because it's only when setting firm, direct, concrete limits that he backs down.

Then the guilt sets in fearing his feelings are hurt. He does not socialize outside of him family environment and sometimes I feel when he is home around his family he just lets loose. Thanks, for any advice, feedback or even similar experiences.
ProudAspyMom responded:
He might be trying to get sensory input with the hugs- you said he squeezes. One of the tools my son's SE teacher uses is to squeeze him (deep pressure hugs on his arms). If you squeeze your son back (bear hug) does he seem more satisfied?

Temple Grandin's research on the squeeze machine is available online:

I hope this is helpful!
smary replied to ProudAspyMom's response:
Hello ProudAspyMom. Thanks for you very logical advice. I followed through with your suggestion and to my surprise it works. When he starts getting touchy I just ask for a hug and give him a 10 second squeezie hug and it does seem to soothe him. I usually have to give him a few like that in a row and he walks away like HE'S had enough. I told my husband and now I notice he is hugging our son the same way. I think at times I get so intense about his issues that I overlook many of the common sense solutions. Thanks again, and all the best to you and yours.

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